Adaptations from our 2018 Christmas letter - being grateful

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.                                                                           1Thessalonians 5:16-18

Gratitude is something I think about a great deal.  I try to give thanks to God for my day as the night settles in on its fifteen hours of activity. I know that practising daily gratitude is a means of shifting oneself out of a funk through noting what is good and looking outwards.  Any chance I have at school, I set up classes with gratitude journals and I wear a pendant with the word GRATEFUL on it most days, especially when I am working.  A friend of mine – a champion of gratitude – ran a December of Gratitude challenge on social media, recording daily points of gratitude each day.  How many things each day?  The number corresponded with the date (one thing on the first, two things on the second, three things on the third…) which meant that by Christmas Eve there were 300 things to be grateful for right there. 

At one point last year there was a series of celebrity deaths, one after the other.  I was strangely and inexplicably moved when TV chef Anthony Bourdain took his own life in June.  I hardly know why. I’ve only watched a few of his shows and always thought him a cynical and sad sort of soul.  After he died the accolades flew in from all corners of the globe and I found myself wondering  that if he’d known how highly he was regarded and revered, whether he might yet be still cooking, eating and travelling his way around the world.

At the end of the school year I wrote twenty thank you cards for our boys’ high school teachers - quite lengthy messages (because far be it from me to keep it short) - and was specific about what the boys appreciated and what we were grateful for in each teacher.  One of our sons came home and told us that his English teacher said he’d almost wept when he read his card.  Primary school teachers are lavished upon at the end of each year.  High school teachers seem to get nothing yet their work is hard, and we’re so very grateful for the ways they pour into our boys’ lives.

We feel gratitude all the time but we’re not necessarily quick to express it.  Paul, in the Bible, told the Christians in Thessalonica to rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances – upwards to God and outwards to those who love, serve and move us.  Even when life seems tough, challenging or sad, we can always thank God that He has all things in hand and that He will see all things made right in His perfect love, timing, wisdom and way - made sure and secure at the most important moment in history in the events of Easter.  And so at Christmas we give thanks to God for the birth of Immanuel – God with us – whose life, death and resurrection at Easter is the greatest gift we will ever receive.

Christmas is such a good time for this as we write our letters and cards, buy our gifts and catch up with all sorts of people.  And maybe it is a good time to kick start a habit into the new year of not just thinking or feeling grateful but saying it, writing it, texting it, giving it the thumbs up or a smile or a hug – specifically, often, at times unexpected, every time we feel gratitude stirring. Small actions can have a big impact - small brave steps in a big, difficult world. 

 

Feeling grateful

I came across this quote at the end of March and decided to dedicate April to giving it a go.  I threw the concept up onto Facebook and not too many moments later #gratefulapril was a thing.  So it's been pretty quiet here because there have been daily moments of gratitude happening on Facebook instead.

Over the month I found myself variously grateful for...

The Word of God.
Jesus' death and resurrection.
The gift of prayer and the gift of my prayer triplet.
Long weekends.
Bargains.
Schools, educational opportunities and holidays.
New ministries starting up at church.
Family, friends and neighbours.  Specifically neighbours who intentionally planted their lemon tree right up close to our fence so that we could share their lemons.
The abundance we enjoy.
Music and books.
Art and history.

I wasn't sure about doing the daily thing on Facebook to begin with, because I didn't want it to become a month of zoning in on one thing each day.  The intention was to practice gratitude continuously throughout the day. 

But it ended up being an excellent discipline.  Many days, as I grew in my capacity for thankfulness, it was hard to choose one thing.  That was a good problem to have.  But as with any life in any month, some days were hard.  And on those days it was good to have to dig deep and redeem God's goodness in daily life.

It was such a good exercise that I have decided to keep going.  Not on Facebook though.  The community aspect was very encouraging, at times moving and often lots of fun however I think it would become boring and tedious for others in time and of course it led to considerable time wasting.   So I'm taking away the "Face" and just recording one or two things that I'm grateful for each day in a book.

On the good days I hope this practice will remind me to be grateful for ALL the good things (moreover, to give expression to that gratitude, which is the very thing that gives this quote legs) and on the harder days to be reminded that even so, we have much for which to thank God.



Grateful April

I don't know who Sue Fitzmaurice is but it doesn't really matter.  I think what she says is right.  I recall when I was at university and for a time the world wasn't looking all that bright.  I decided I would finish the day listing three things I was grateful for, even if two of them were that the sun came up and the sky was blue, every single day.  It took little more than a week to shift me out of my mood.  And as I recall, I was in quite a mood, so that was a fairly quick turn around.

There are lots of ways to express gratitude. 
Write it down.
Say thank you - spoken words, written words, a hug, a gift, a smile.
Return an act of service or pay it forward.
Show respect.
Find contentment, even in the small things.
Shake off discontentment by searching for the good in the moment. 
Praise God.

Will you join me?

Relearning thankfulness

I'm pretty sure I haven't read anything from the pen of GK Chesterton, but I stumbled upon this quote doing the rounds a little while ago and I love it.  And it's personally helpful as I find myself emerging from a time when thankfulness has not been my strong card, at least not in some quarters, and discovering I need to relearn the art.

You say grace before meals.  Alright.

But I say grace before the concert and the opera,

and grace before the play and pantomime,

and grace before I open a book,

and grace before sketching, painting, swimming,

fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing

and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.

G. K. Chesterton

Thankfulness

 

Most merciful Father, we humbly thank you

for all your gifts so freely bestowed on us.

For life and health and safety, for power to work and leisure to rest,

and for all that is beautiful in creation and in the lives of men,

we praise and glorify your holy name.

But, above all, we thank you

for your spiritual mercies in Christ Jesus our Lord,

for the means of grace,

and for the hope of glory.

Fill our hearts with all joy and peace in believing;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen

 

(From An Australian Prayer Book p.36)

 

Out of Africa

I would like you to meet two friends of mine. Both work in Africa.

J, who I have mentioned before, works in a west African country. This week she sent me an email that started like this.

This comes with fresh greetings from a location where the air is clean from summer rains. While the downside might mean more litter washed into one's yard and less electricity (supplies perhaps 30% of the time), it is good to have the trees so green and the air dust-free.

Imagine if we only had electricity for 30% of the time...

The other is R, who works in a landlocked country in the south east of Africa. This is what she wrote in her blog earlier this month.

Remember my 'experiment' last year?

$1 a day (or was it $2?) no power, carry my own water for a week (or was it 2?) oh yeah - i remember- and no matress. lol

Well, I'm upping the ante. I've been given the opportunity to live in a village for a few months... and I moved out there last Friday! It's not about living on the edge or feeling good that I'm doing it tough- it's about getting as much language and cultural interaction as i can.

I'm looking forward to blogging all about it ...soon. But for now- First impressions?

- stinging eyes from lighting and cooking over a smoke fire
- the sheer time investment into every chore
- from boiling water for a cuppa to pumping water and carrying it up the hill to my house
- amazing generosity and friendliness of my new neighbourhood. They've visited, shared their food, invited me to family events (sadaka) and cleaned my pots....

but they're all stories for another day!

I'll write when I can- in the mean time, please pray that I'll get to the next level with language, make some good friends and stay well.

What J and R do takes my breath away.

J and R don't live choose to live in these circumstances so they can be seen to be living the politically and environmentally correct lifestyle.
J and R don't live like this to store up impressive stories to tell at dinner parties.
J and R aren't trying to show off.

Rather...

J and R are two humble women who love God and love the people of the nations in which they live and work.
J and R remind me of the difference between living surrounded by abundance and living abundantly.
J and R remind me to be thankful and to stop complaining when I am inconvenienced in some small way.

And there you have J and R, two friends of mine. Two amazing women.

In Pursuit of Gratitude - (5) The recipients of gratitude and what to do when it all just seems too hard

Gratitude travels in two directions - horizontally and vertically.

The horizontal expression of gratitude occurs amongst ourselves. It happens when we say thankyou to someone for a kindness shown to us, when we write a letter of thanks, when we see that someone is congratulated or acknowledged for a job well done. We are a blessing to one another when we express gratitude. Being thankful to one another is a good habit to form.

The vertical expression of thanks is when we say thankyou to God - for all the blessings of this life both tangible and intangible. If forming the habit of horizontal gratitude is a good thing, then forming the habit of vertical gratitude is even better.

But what are we to do if life is tough? How can we have an attitude of thanksgiving and experience the contentment that accompanies it when everything seems to be going wrong? Well, I heard a most wonderful explanation of what to do in this situation at a Christian Women's Conference a few years ago by Greta Gaut.*

She used the analogy of riding on a rollercoaster. She explained that we have our rollercoaster trolley wheels running on parallel tracks. The wheels on the left hand side travel along your classic rollercoaster track. It goes up and down. It twists and turns. Sometimes gently, sometimes wildly. This is the stuff of day to day and year to year life. Sometimes it's smooth (even boring!), sometimes it's exhilirating and sometimes it is gut-wrenchingly awful.

At the same time the wheels on the right hand side travel along a perfectly smooth track. This track represents the constancy of the hope of eternal life with God through the work of Jesus Christ. No matter happens in our day to day lives, for those who believe that Jesus is their Lord and Saviour, there is the hope, peace and constancy found in the prospect of eternal life with God. And therefore, even if there seems little to be thankful for in day to day life - the stuff of the left hand track - there is always the constancy of the right hand track for which to be grateful. Immensely grateful.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" It's that verse from my sidebar again. It doesn't mean that I have to be artificially happy if my life's circumstances are not good at the time. But no matter what happens, I can always rejoice in the Lord because of the hope I have in Him now and into the future for all eternity. Then, even in times of turmoil, I will know the peace of God which transcends all understanding. And for that I can be grateful.

And in the meantime, the correctives listed in the previous post help me not to get sucked into the vortex of unnecessary or unwarranted grizzling and misery.

* If you click on the link at Greta's name you will find her three magnificent talks on Philippians - and you may even find some others worth putting on your iPod as well!!

In Pursuit of Gratitude - (4) Complaining (or rather, not complaining)

As these musings on gratitude start drawing to a conclusion (in the next post or two), I thought I would spend a little bit of time thinking about complaining.

So up front it needs to be said that complaining quells gratitude. Now I know I am prone to complaining and that is one of the reasons I have been doing some work on this topic of gratitude - because I need to hear it myself.

So I was greatly convicted when I read these words a couple of years ago:

* Never allow yourself to complain about anything – not even the weather.
* Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or some place else.
* Never compare your lot with another's.
* Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
* Never dwell on tomorrow – remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

Now there is a challenge!!

These words - a prescription for contentment - are not from someone who lives in comfortable circumstances like me. They are the words of a woman who served with her husband while raising their children as a missionary with the pygmies in Africa. She was there for fifty two years. She lived in basic, difficult conditions in the heat of the African bush. She recorded these words in a journal, discovered by her daughter. I think of them often – especially when I catch myself midway through a whinge.

I find this prescription challenging. But I find it encouraging too - in helping me to put aside my attitude of complaining in order to pursue an attitude of thankfulness that brings contentment. Be encouraged.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:4-8

In Pursuit of Gratitude - (3) A Tale of Two Cities

The last school I taught in was built in the early 1900's. It was a classic. When I first arrived at that school in 1995 our electricity consumption was basically lights, heating in winter, overhead fans in summer, a computer in a few lucky classrooms and one in the front office, one photocopier (which was used a lot!) and a microwave and dishwasher in the staffroom. No-one seemed to use the overhead projectors all that much.

About five years later we set up a computer lab with 25 networked computers, every classroom was issued with two computers and thanks to the generous parent body, the entire school was air conditioned. And we got a second photocopier. After that, every time we used the microwave it tripped the entire system (which included shutting down all those computers in unceremonious fashion) and each time the school blacked out. Later that year the school was rewired at great expense because the system couldn't cope.

Three summers ago we had rolling black outs in our city on some of the hottest days as a measure to conserve some energy. The demand for electricity that summer was just too great and the system couldn't cope.

And it is not all that surprising. Our levels of power consumption have escalated enormously over the last decade. The primary school I worked in is one example. What happens in our house is another. We now have two computers that are often both in use. The telephone we now have is plugged into mains electricity to run the answering machine. To turn on the TV we now also turn on the DVD player and the set top box. And we now have air conditioning. That is just a sample and that is just one house on one street in one suburb.

I remember the outrage at these blackouts which lasted for about 40 minutes a time from memory. Many people were utterly indignant. The outrage hit the newspapers. It was truly outrageous. The attitude, that is. Not the fact of the blackouts or the mild inconvenience they caused. *

At that time I remember receiving an email from a friend who was working in the city of a west African country. At the time of our rolling blackouts she was praising God. In her neck of the woods she only got one hour of electricity per day. And that hour could be at any time of day or night. She was praising God because that precious hour seemed to be settling into a predictable part of the day, making it possible to utilise it to maximum benefit due to being prepared and awake for it.

In my first post on gratitude I suggested that one manifestation of ingratitude is a constant demanding of one's perceived rights. This comes in many forms – demanding continuous, 100% reliable electricity. Perfect roads. Instant access to excellent health care with a 100% guarantee of a good outcome. Not having to queue up at the bank or any where else.

I am going out on a limb here. But I want to make a point. Compared with my friend in Africa we have it good. (I speak from the vantage point of living in a capital city of Australia.) We have it really good. And if only our culture promoted regarding all the good things we have as blessings rather than rights I think there would be a greater level of contentment and much less outrage. So I say, in the pursuit of gratitude, let's save the outrage for the things that are truly outrageous (because yes, there is a time and a place for outrage) and work hard at being thankful for the riches we enjoy.

* May I say that don't wish to be insensitive here. I am certain that these power cuts did create some situations of great tragedy and I don't want to be dismissive of that fact. I am generalising because for the most part, it was just a mild inconvenience and a bit hotter when the electric fans and air conditioners were out of action.

In Pursuit of Gratitude - (2) Gratitude and Contentment

For some, being grateful comes easily - in all seasons. For others it can be hard work, a neglected discipline or only pursued when times are good. But what exactly is gratitude?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines it this way:

The quality or condition of being grateful or thankful; the appreciation of and inclination to return kindness.

It seems a good thing to pursue. And it brings benefits - because contentment and gratitude are good friends. If we are truly, sincerely thankful about something then we will experience a measure of contentment because of it. The more we can find to be thankful for, the greater our experience of contentment.

So, for the record, what then is contentment? The OED says,

Pleasure, delight, gratification, a source of satisfaction or pleasure. The fact, condition or quality of being contented; tranquil happiness.

Well, that sounds OK to me. Definitely worth striving for!!

The relationship between gratitude and contentment can be found in the Bible. Take another look (because you have already read it at least once it in my sidebar!) at this small passage from Philippians.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Notice that thanksgiving is flanked by joy and peace. And we are instructed to be thankful even in the anxious moments - thankful for the situations we find ourselves in, thankful that God is sovereign over them, thankful that we are able to pray about these (and all) things and thankful above all else that despite what might be occurring in our day to day lives, we have the assurance in the bigger picture of eternal peace with God because of His work through Jesus.

As I have said before, I have not always been good at this. In fact I have had times when I was downright discontent, grizzling my way through life and finding nothing for which to be grateful. I imagine I am not alone. But developing an attitude of gratefulness is definitely worth pursuing because it does bring contentment – and of course the recipient of your gratitude will be blessed and encouraged too.

In Pursuit of Gratitude - (1) The Pop Quiz

Last year I received an email quiz from a friend – 50 or so questions about yourself. You fill in the answers, return the completed quiz to the sender so that they can find how you're doing and then you forward it to as many friends as bravery allows. It's called "Getting to Know your Friends", it's good fun and last year some of the responses from others were quite illuminating. (Actually a different friend sent me the 2009 edition today!!)

There were lots of light hearted questions like:

Pearls or Diamonds? PEARLS
What was the last movie you saw at the cinema? (Well, at the time of last year's quiz it was the last HARRY POTTER movie but since then, for your information…MADAGASCAR 2)

And then there were deeper questions too, such as:

Name a quality in people you dislike?

My answer? INGRATITUDE.

Ingratitude expresses itself in all sorts of ways.

* Grumbling, grizzling, groaning, complaining and whinging.
* Remaining silent when an articulation of gratitude is due.
* A constant demanding of one's perceived rights. (That one may need fleshing out…but I will get to that down the track.)
* And even if there is no outward expression of it, there are always those feelings of bitterness and/or discontent.

Gratitude and contentment are good friends. So I am going in pursuit of gratitude. Why? Because we have so much for which to be thankful. And living with an attitude of contentment and gratitude is far better than ingratitude and misery.

Stay tuned.

Gratitude in the Cheese Aisle

Yesterday while I was doing the grocery shopping I found myself inspecting blocks of cheese before choosing one to put in my trolley. If the block wasn't perfect – a bit knocked about or evidence of an air bubble in the vacuum packaging that could show itself as a patch of mould down the track – I returned it to the fridge and picked up another until I found the right one to purchase.

As I was checking the cheese I caught myself wondering why I was doing it. We go through a kilo block of cheese a week (more or less) in our house and so if I see it on sale for less that $10 a block I tend to stockpile it. But cheese hasn't been on sale for a while and there is none stockpiled away. The cheese I bought yesterday will be gone by next weekend. And hey, if it happened to get a little spot of mould on it, I could just cut it off. Right?

But as I was acting out this absurd little charade in the cheese aisle it did cross my mind how wonderful it is that we have the possibility to purchase the perfect block of cheese. And the perfect piece of meat. And the perfect peach. And the freshest of milk and bread. We are certainly blessed with the abundance available to us in our supermarkets. There are a lot of cranky people in supermarkets. And occasionally I am one of them. But really, walking into a supermarket should inspire praise to God for the blessing of abundant good food there at our fingertips.

It was good to be thankful to God in the cheese aisle yesterday.