How is your Bible reading going?

 

Long time readers of this blog will know that my preferred style of Bible reading is to follow a reading plan and endeavor to read right through the Bible each year.  Of course there are lots of different ways to read the Bible besides the annual read through model.  There's focusing in on a particular book and reading it multiple times over a month or more and really digging deep. Or reading a section slowly and thoroughly with the aid of a commentary.  Maybe following a theme or topic through the Bible. Reading in and around Sunday's sermon passage leading up to or following your time at church.  Small snippets. Large chunks. Random chunks.  Daily reading.  Weekly reading.  Random reading. 

How is your Bible reading going?  I ask because I want to encourage you with all my heart to keep persevering in the good work of growing in your relationship with God through His Word.  Here's why.

During the last three or four days I have heard news of various people in sudden and deep crisis. A couple of them are known to me personally. The others are known through friends and so I ache because my friends ache. Yesterday morning, unable to sleep, I gave in to my restlessness and got up to pray and read the Bible. I thought I would start with my daily reading and then maybe head over to one of Paul's letters or maybe some Psalms...some of those soft places to fall. 

My reading for the day included a passage from Deuteronomy and the stoning of Stephen in Acts. Deuteronomy and the stoning of Stephen would not be your typical "go to" passages in times of trouble. And yet they were such a comfort as I read about God promising through word and demonstration that He would be faithful, loving and sovereign in the lives of His people forever and then the example of a man, so certain of his faith in God that he stood firm through utter horror, spoke truth and prayed not for his own release but that God would forgive those stoning him to death and finally, that tender release from God at the end of his life.  

Comfort and courage.

The more I read the Bible the more I learn about God and about being one of His children - and the more I find comfort and courage in some of the most unexpected places of this big book.  There are certainly many "go to" passages in times of trouble or despair but the more I get to know all of God's Word, the more I see what I know to be true about God - His love, mercy, faithfulness, patience, justice, wisdom, sovereignty, holiness - in every page and so I can receive comfort and courage not just from the "go to" passages but also from simply reading the next bit and being reminded afresh of God and His good promises. 

If your Bible reading has fallen into a bit of a hole, or you never really got started, please let me encourage you to open your Bible and get going again.  Please don't be overwhelmed or think, "I could never get my Bible reading to that point."  I have a long way to go myself but in God's mercy and kindness I have got to this point by simply opening up the Bible on as many days of the year as I can and reading the next bit.  Every year is better than the one before.  And there is much joy in this lifelong project, most especially in the deepening of your relationship with God.

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”
John 6:67-69
 

Hope and Comfort

Sometimes when someone dies you just know they have gone Home to glory.  Other times though you find yourself floundering somewhere between doubt and dread, fearing that they may not have put their faith in Christ - even faith as small as a mustard seed.

Uncertainty and fear add to the already heavy weight of grief.  And it all serves to remind us that death is wrong.   When Jesus wept for Lazarus it seems it wasn't just for the lost relationship, but weeping over the state of things.  It was never meant to be this way.  Death is a hard place.

I've thought about all of this a great deal over recent years and my thoughts have been tested.  What I have found, in the face of death, is that there are two things that bring me enormous comfort, no matter what the circumstances.

The first thing is this.  We are made in the image of God.  One of the things this means is that we are made to be in relationship with Him.  Every single human being ever.  I see evidence of this most clearly when someone is thrown into crisis, especially sudden crisis.  So often in those moments the person's immediate response is to cry out to God in prayer, even when they've never prayed in their life and they don't really know what they're doing.  Or else they seek out the prayers of someone who prays.  It's like we are all microchipped to God and when the need most hits we are drawn Home to our Father in heaven.  It's the strongest magnetic pull in the universe. 

And as God is "not wanting anyone to perish but for everyone to come to repentence" (2 Peter 3:9) I wonder that God maybe responds in grace and mercy to those cries Home in the greatest of all crises - as one is facing their own death. 

Sometimes we see the evidence of God's mercy in the lives of those around us over many years and we know, in death, that they are going Home.  Sometimes in God's great kindness we might see His grace and mercy in someone's last days or hours - a kindness more for our own benefit and comfort.  And I wonder if there are times when we may not be aware of God, mercifully at work even when all communication between the one dying and the outside world has all but shut down. 

The Bible is clear.  God wants all to turn to Him.  But not everyone will take up this most precious of invitations.  While on this earth we don't get to know ultimately who will take up this invitation and who won't.  But I think there is more hope than we sometimes apprehend because God has made every single one of us to be drawn to Him and has done all that we need through Jesus' work on the cross in order to take hold of His invitation of eternal life with Him - even only with mustard seed sized faith in a final moment.  There is hope, and that is comfort enough.

The other source of comfort then is this.  God's ways are perfect.  All things happen in His perfect, loving and sovereign timing and wisdom.  So when someone dies we can be confident that whatever has happened, it will have happened in God's perfect will and wisdom.  I trust God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  (Well, I try to.)  And so I trust Him to get it right in every single instance and circumstance.  Whatever has happened, when someone dies, it will have happened as God willed it to be.  More than anything I might hope for in all my human weakness, I trust God.  And that is the deepest comfort in the world.  I will still be sad.  Death is a hard place.  But I will be comforted by the God of all comfort whose ways are always right. 

When peace like a river attendeth my way,
  When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say,
  “It is well, it is well with my soul!”

(Horatio Gates Spafford) 

How to Walk into Church

When friends move and they’re in the serious business of finding themselves a new church I always pray that they will find a church where they will be well ministered to AND where they can minister well, because going to church isn’t just about receiving. It is very much about giving as well. 

If you are someone who wants to do church well – or wants to know how to do church well – can I commend a fantastic little book to you called “How to Walk into Church” by Tony Payne.  It’s 64 pages and it took me about half an hour to read.  Thirty well spent minutes.

This little book is an encouragement to:-

*  Go to church and go regularly.  The very act of turning up every week is an enormous encouragement.

One of the most important acts of love and encouragement we can all engage in is the powerful encouragement of just being there – because every time I walk into church I am wearing a metaphorical t-shirt that says, “God is important to me, and you are important to me.”  And on the back it says, “And that’s why I wouldn’t dream of missing this.”  Similarly, when we stay away for no good reason one week out of three (or more), we send the opposite message. 
Page 37

*  Prepare for church by praying – about who you will sit next to, about a good conversation you might have before church or afterwards over coffee (and there some excellent, God honouring conversation starters mentioned in chapter six) – and also by reading and thinking through the Bible passage to be covered in advance.

*  Determine to participate actively during the service – standing and singing with joy, bringing your own Bible to follow the readings and listening actively to the sermon by taking notes, making good eye contact with the minister, nodding in agreement or giving an encouraging and warm smile at an appropriate moment.

*  Be on the lookout for ways to serve – fill in for someone who’s rostered on for something but didn’t make it, get the person who has a coughing fit a glass of water, open the window if it feels hot and stuffy.  Be the meerkat on guard and look for opportunities to be a blessing.

Our aim at church should be to build up and encourage other people – rather than thinking about how much we’re getting out of it or whether we’ve had a chance to exercise our gifts.  Love does not insist on its own way or press its own claims.  It is not obsessed with its own enjoyment or convenience.  Love does not complain or grumble, or stay home in bed because it couldn’t be bothered.  Love seeks the good of the other – patiently, kindly, truthfully, joyfully, constantly. 
Page 31

Who should read this book?  If you go to church, no matter how well (or otherwise) you walk in that church door, you should read this book.  It is such an encouragement to godliness.  Even better, because going to church is a group activity after all, is to read it with a group from church – maybe your Bible study group – so that you can encourage each other in the ministry of walking into church well. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 
Hebrews 10:24-25

Encouragement to share what you know

Like attracts like.  So I am pretty sure that you, dear reader, like reading your Bible like me.  That you probably know your way around the whole of the Bible.  That you know Bible reading isn't just a daily exercise one does to tick a box but something we do to deepen our relationship with God.  That the more you read the Bible, the easier it is to understand and the more you understand it, the hungrier you are to read it.

It occurred to me a while ago that rabbiting on about Bible reading here on this blog is probably "preaching to the converted" for the most part.  I like to keep you all ( and myself) encouraged.  But guess what??  I had a light bulb moment a few months ago.  There are people who I sit with in church week after week who find the Bible an enigma. 

Last year I got up in church during the notices section and started flapping my favourite Bible reading plan around - just like I do my virtual flapping around of it periodically on this blog  - explaining the options of doing the full plan or just a part of it (like following along the New Testament readings to start with, to help get into the habit.)  And at various points this year I've got up and given my three suggestions for those who started but ground to a halt or for those who never started and wished they had...

1. Start from where you left off and don't worry about the dates.  Don't be a slave to the dates.
2. Start from where you left off, do double readings as you can and soon you will catch up.
3. Cut your losses and start from today's date.

And in late May, just as the plan approached the section where the Old Testament becomes, shall we say, complicated...1 and 2 Kings...I ran a guided tour of the Old Testament.  It was a simple thing really.  It took an hour and a half over tea, coffee and snacks.

I spent ten minutes going through the contents page of the Old Testament explaining the three different sections and how the genres change, each requiring a different approach to reading.

 

I then spent 40 minutes going through this road map, telling the story of the Old Testament that is covered in the history books.  Explaining how the kingdom splits in two is the key sticking point.

This diagram is from
Gospel and Kingdom: A
 Christian Interpretation of the Old Testament
by Graeme Goldsworthy, page 32.
(Published by Paternoster Press in 1982)
 

We had a break for a cup of tea and then I spent the last half hour showing this page from the IVP New Bible Commentary found at the beginning of the section on 1 and 2 Kings - a table of who was king - when and where - during the period of the kings.

 

Finally I gave them my notes from here about how the books of the prophets fit into the chronology of the kings, most of which I had sourced from the Lion Handbook to the Bible - nothing too complicated.  I didn't read through the notes slavishly but just ran through a couple by way of example and left it at that.  (Feel free to lift and use this - or anything else from my blog - if that is helpful.)

I'd been a Christian ten years, struggling my way through the Bible, before I met that roadmap.  What a revelation!  And as long time readers will know, it is only in recent years that I have come to grips with the prophets - and that in only a small way.  But now I've got a handle on that section of the Bible and it's making much more sense.

One of the women who came to the guided tour said that she had been in churches and in and out of the Bible for 60 years and this was the first time she'd had this stuff explained to her.  This isn't a criticism of the preaching she's sat under all these years.  You just don't learn frameworks during church sermons.  That's not what sermons are about.  She left encouraged to press on with the hard but rewarding work of Bible reading.

Maybe you don't know your way around the Old Testament yet.  And if not, these particular posts might be of help.  Maybe you DO know your way around the Old Testament but don't think you could possibly manage to do something like this.  That's fine.  This is not for everyone.  But I'm pretty sure that some of you could do this.  And if that is you, then can I encourage you to have a go at sharing the framework of the Old Testament with those around you.  (Or ask someone you know who could do this sort of thing to do it for you.) 

There will people you know - people who maybe, just maybe, don't read as widely as you might - who don't know how the Bible hangs together and whose lives will be transformed if you give them the basics.  I've been blogging about this sort of thing for years.  It's good to have shared it in person with some of those I meet Sunday by Sunday in church and I'm looking forward to doing it again some other time down the track.

Oh, and by the way, if you aren't using a Bible reading plan but wished you were, the beginning of July is another EXCELLENT entry point for this plan.  And I'll be saying that in church in the next couple of weeks too.

Age wearies and the years condemn, but there is hope

I've done a lot of observing of and being with the elderly in recent times. And what I've noticed is that there's a lot of grief for the one who grows old. 

The grief of watching your friends die - it's no source of glory to be the one who outlives your peers and it's very hard to be oh so frail as to be unable to attend their funerals.  The loss of one's driver's license.  Didn't downsize in time?  The grief of losing the family home and so many possessions as circumstances impose the downsizing upon you.  The move to a nursing home that reduces one's possessions to the barest minimum.  The grief of loss of capacity - mental and physical.  The grief of the transformation from independent, functioning, dignified member of society to one totally dependent, like a small child, except knowing of a full life lived independently.    

It was never meant to be this way.  But even in this world, broken by sin, God shows His love and mercy.  Very recently it occurred to me that God has timed the grief of aging perfectly - by putting it at the end.  I know that's a perfectly ridiculous statement to make.  Stating the obvious somewhat.  But let me explain. 

When I was pregnant for the first time I spent a lot of those months predictably concerned about what lay at the end.  The delivery.  And yet, by the time I was eight and a half months pregnant (and it seemed to be 40⁰ every day) I was ready to deliver that baby.  God's perfect design.  Six, seven and eight months was too short to be ready.  Nine months (and then ten days overdue) and I was ready.   That's the microcosm.

The big picture is the span of my years filled to the brim with the stuff of life. Learning, living, loving. And coping with suffering as well. I don't live in Eden and Jesus has not yet returned. The world is fallen. And so there is suffering.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God,  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5

Suffering and grief help me to grow in faith and hope. I hope that I respond with a little more faith and trust in Him with each new grief. I have a lifetime to practice this. And so it occurred to me that God has placed the end of life, so filled with grief and suffering - and there is no way around it...sickness, aging, dying and death are terrible - so that when the span of my years is drawing to its end and I am faced with grief upon grief, I am ready to face it with grace and hope. I observe that you don't get to be a sweet, wise, godly and prayerful old lady (or gentleman) just by being old. It takes a lifetime of sweetness and growing in wisdom, godliness and prayerfulness to bear the grief of old age with grace.  It's not that it's any easier for the sweet ones.  They have learned to bear it well - with hope.

God is good, gracious, kind and wise.  Putting the end at the end was no accident.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be...

Search me, O God, and know my heart,
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:16, 23, 24

This is the day

Last Friday was one of those rare days when I actually did my Bible reading first thing in the morning.  Occasionally it happens mid-morning.  Often during the afternoon.  Sometimes last thing before my head meets my pillow.  And sometimes today's reading happens tomorrow.  But last Friday it was first thing, and I believe that was by God's good design.  God had something to show me.  The psalm of the day was Psalm 118 - a psalm that holds a very familiar verse.

This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us be glad and rejoice in it.

 

This verse reminds me of Sundays - and of singing that chorus at church. You've probably got the tune in your head right now.  Whenever I read these words I find I am easily distracted -  singing the song (at least in my head) - and with dear memories of congregational singing in various church settings, the side effect being that I have come to associate this verse with Sundays.

Last Friday God had other plans.  My eyes fell upon this verse.  No tune.  No mind wandering off to churches past.  This time around these words found some traction.

THIS is the day the Lord has made.

 

This is THE day the Lord has made.

 

This is the day that THE LORD HAS MADE.

 

And so REJOICE.  Be GLAD in that.

I reflected upon those very familiar words all through the day (the one that the Lord had made) and it gave added joy and purpose to each of my tasks.  By late afternoon I began to imagine what it would be like to start each and every day aware that it was a day the Lord had made, worthy of joy and full of Kingdom potential.  Because this isn't a verse just for a Sunday chorus.  It's a verse for every day.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12

The gap is wider than I'd imagined

Conversation # 1

Speaking with a friend from school about church.  I explain what our services look like and about how we have kids' activities at each service.
Says friend, "How much does it cost for the kids' activities and do you have to book in for them?"

Conversation # 2

Friend speaking with another friend about church with kids hanging about the adults listening in.
Kid of friend who doesn't go to church chimes in with, "That sounds like fun.  Can we go this Sunday?"
Says her mum, "I don't think it is the sort of place where you can just rock up."

 

I was amazed, surprised and somewhat in despair to hear these conversations.  But when I think about it, the further we get from the 1950's when going to church was the norm (in Australia), the further we get from people actually knowing how church even works, let alone the content of our time spent together in church.  I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.  I was born in the late '60s (oh, that is beginning to feel somewhat old...) and even during the '70s and early '80s I was an anomaly amongst my peers spending my Sunday mornings in church.  I've spent most of my life hanging about churches, but most people haven't. 

 

As I said, I was amazed, surprised and somewhat in despair to hear these conversations.  But as I think about it a little more I see that it offers another way into salty conversation with our friends, asking people what they know about church and letting them know that they are most definitely welcome.



Loving Jesus first and best

That moment when I became a Christian, taking up the faith I'd had as a child and making it my own as an adult, was more a case of bowing down before the throne of God rather than kneeling at the cross of Christ.  Which is not to say that Jesus was not important in the equation.  That was just how it was.  And that has shaped me as a Christian all these years.  My default position is before the throne of God.  I get God the Father more naturally than I get God the Son.  That's just how it is.  But at long last (God waits for us patiently) I see I have some growing to do. 

At times I long for heaven.  When I see people around me struggling, when I struggle myself and even when I just feel bone tired or stressed or worried, I long for that time when Jesus will come again and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.  What am I really longing for?  I am longing rest found in God.  That perfect rest.  But it's a selfish longing.

The other day I was reading Psalm 25.  David loves God.  He knows with all his heart, as he says in verse 10, that

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. 

Sure as he is of God's love and His promises, David makes many requests of God throughout this psalm.

Don't let me be put to shame.
Show me your ways, teach me, guide me.
Remember your mercy and love and remember not my sins.
Turn to me and be gracious.
Look upon me and take away my sins.
Guard my life and rescue me.

I read that psalm and I read those requests and I nod my head in agreement.  Yes Lord.  But why I am nodding in agreement with David?  I know in my heart that I want those things for selfish reasons.  Get all those things right and it's comfortable.  It's a selfish longing.

But directly after verse 10, and right bang smack in the very centre of the psalm I read this.

For the sake of your name O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

Being forgiven is not about me. It's not about me feeling comfortable or being seen in a good light.  It's for His sake.  That verse shot out at me like the proverbial silver bullet.  It's for His sake.

I've read through Philippians quite a number of times this year - stage one of memorising it.  And going over those words again and again is already working upon my soul.  Paul says, famously,

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.  If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me.  Yet what shall I choose?  I do not know! I am torn between the two.  I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far, but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
Philippians 1:20-24

Paul longs for heaven.  Not to be comfortable.  Not to rest.  There's not an ounce of selfishness in his longings.  He longs to see Jesus.  And if it is not his time, then to live is Christ.

This year as I read the Bible, as I try to memorise Philippians, as I love and serve the people around me and as I think, read, pray and reflect I find I am asking God a new thing, many times a day.  Help me Lord to love Jesus first and best. 

It's not all about me.  It's not about me at all.  It's about loving Jesus first and best.

Longing for Jesus

Heavenly Father,
Please help me to long for heaven -
not for the prospect of being in the new creation where there is no more death or mourning or crying or pain,
not for the prospect of being with all the saints who have died in the Lord for all eternity,
nor for the prospect of resting from my labours.
While these are a beautiful part of the glorious prospect of heaven,
please Lord,
help me to long for heaven
so that I might see Jesus.
Please help me, that this would be my chief longing.
Amen.

Why am I a Christian?

Why am I a Christian?

I realised late in my teenage years that I couldn't put my confidence in the things of this world.  People let us down and work, achievements, wealth, experiences, possessions, even our health won't always meet our needs or be 100% reliable and trustworthy.

If I have learned anything from the Bible it's that my greatest need though, far beyond anything else I have mentioned, is to be in right relationship with God and that I can put my complete trust in Him in all of life's circumstances, now and into the future. 

Do you ever feel let down by the things of this world?

Just Start Talking

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
1Peter 3:15

But it is a rare day that someone does actually ask the question, "Can you tell me about the hope you have?"  Even so I've been encouraged recently to think that this doesn't need to be a rare event.  Some of us at church have just done a three week course called Just Start Talking and it's a gem.  It's about how to just start talking - about Jesus.

Just Start Talking is full of reminders and encouragements...
That it is God's work to save people. 
That we just need to be people who are, not people who do - that is, we're not about doing anything special or particular but simply living out our lives as children of God.
That it can be scary to talk about Jesus - but we don't need to have a theological degree under our belts before we do.  We just need to talk about our own experience of living life as one of God's children. 

And there's good equipping...
Ideas on how to introduce our faith into all sorts of conversations.
Ideas on how to encourage conversation rather than kill it.
Ideas on how to build in an opportunity to meet again to continue on the conversation.

Just Start Talking is very much about sharing Jesus within the context of relationships in a way that honours and brings life to those relationships.

One of the exercises across the weeks is to write your own story without any jargon in about 100 words.  The Just Start Talking schema is to say why you are a Christian, give a brief explanation and then finish with a question.  It's not about writing down your whole story and finishing it off with a summary of the key points of the gospel.  That would be a monologue - a very long one in some cases - met with yawning, eye rolling and maybe the end of the friendship. 

You can't say much in 100 words at all.  But that's the point.  It's meant to be the beginning of a conversation.  It's about a minute's worth.  Finishing with a question opens up the conversation.  Or it may be that something you have said - because you can't go into much detail at all in 100 words - triggers a question.  You know, something like, "What did you mean by...?"

There is much to love about this course.  It's fun (Colin Buchanan is one of the presenters on the DVD), it's not at all scary (I did it with a couple of quite timid people who are completely pumped), it can be done in three weeks and it's immensely encouraging.  Just Start Talking is an encouragement to live a life that reflects a relationship with God, to pray for those who don't know Him and to just start talking about the things that are so very important. 

And the thing that encouraged me the most was the idea that if I become known as someone who tries to introduce Jesus into my conversations on a regular basis then at some stage someone probably will  ask the question..."Can you tell me the reason for the hope that you have?"

Treat your time in the Bible like you treat your meal plan.

Yesterday there was a great post on the Desiring God site called Five Back-to-School Basics.  You may have missed it because

1.  maybe you don't live in the northern hemisphere, and
2.  so you aren't going back to school at the moment, or
3.  maybe you're just not at school at all. 

Perhaps I would have missed it too except that I, lover of lists and with a small hint from the title of the post, keenly observed the five point list.  And so I read it. 

The five points are:-

1. Thinking may be the most critical thing you ever do.
2. The most important book you'll read this fall is your Bible.
3. Someone younger than you needs you.
4.  Comparison in the classroom can be the birthplace of pride.
5.  Only the gospel saves anyone, even A-students.

They are great principles and they extend far, far beyond the reach of students in the classroom.

I especially liked point number two (but you already knew that) and most especially this part (emphasis is mine)...

Because of all the assigned pages, you’ll be tempted to sideline your Bible reading until the next test has passed, the next paper is done, or the next break is here. Instead, treat your time in the Bible like you treat your meal plan.

Your time soaking in Scripture will be the most fruitful and shaping time of your education. Nothing can replace the wealth you will find there, and nothing will prepare you better for life, family, vocation, or even your next class.

It is so easy to put off time in God's Word.  I know.  I really, REALLY know.  But I am amazingly diligent with my meal planning.  We eat every day.  What a great aim to be so hungry for God's Word that it receives the same priority as meal planning.

Read the whole post here.  It doesn't matter if you aren't going back to school this August.  The principles still apply.

Comfort in, dump out

This weekend I read a FANTASTIC article from the Los Angeles Times called "How Not To Say The Wrong Thing" by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman.  It's about how not to be a discouragement when someone is in a situation of serious illness, grief, trauma, bereavement or difficulty.  It is called the Ring Theory.  You can read the full article here. 

Quoting directly from the article, the Ring Theory works like this:

Illustration by Wes Bausmith from here

Draw a circle. This is the center ring. In it, put the name of the person at the center of the current trauma...  Now draw a larger circle around the first one. In that ring put the name of the person next closest to the trauma... Repeat the process as many times as you need to. In each larger ring put the next closest people. Parents and children before more distant relatives. Intimate friends in smaller rings, less intimate friends in larger ones...

Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, "Life is unfair" and "Why me?" That's the one payoff for being in the center ring.

Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.

Comfort in, dump out.  That is, you find your spot within the circles and then you offer only words or actions of comfort to anyone further in than you.  If you need to dump on someone, you do that with those further out from your spot.

What is dumping?  It's saying things like...
   I couldn't believe how awful he looked.
   I felt sick seeing him in hospital.
   I hate going into hospitals.
   I don't agree with some of the decisions the family is making on his behalf.
   He is taking a long time to get over this.
   I saw him the other day and he looked fine to me.  He's just putting it on.
   I remember when my neighbour was in that situation.  She...(blah blah blah)
   I remember when I had a similar problem. This is what happened...(blah blah blah)
   This whole thing is really putting a dampener on our lives.
   Do want to know what I would do if this was happening to me?
   Are you still dragging yourself around?

Or doing dopey stuff like asking someone closer to the centre to look after your kids for you all weekend so that you can get away for a bit because the whole thing is getting you down.

The point is this.  Your aim is to not make things harder for those further in than you.  If you are struggling and you're not the person in the middle you should set out to find the support you need from those who are further from the centre and probably feeling stronger than you are, so that you can be strong to comfort and support those who are closer to or right in at the centre.

Comfort in, dump out.  Good thinking.

A prayer for today

This morning I read the last words of David from 2 Samuel 23.  In the middle of those words is this verse:

Is not my house right with God?
Has he not made with me an everlasting covenant,
arranged and secured in every part?
Will he not bring to fruition my salvation
and grant me my every desire?

Today I am praying that I will deeply and truly know and trust that my life for all eternity is arranged and secured by God in every part and that my every desire will line up with His desires and not be driven by my own selfish heart.

This I know...

Jonathan Parnell wrote in a post about Ten Reasons You Should Read the Book of Job at the Desiring God site...

Persecution, disease, war, disability, disaster, freak accident, assault — all are alike in this: Satan aims to destroy your faith, but God aims to strengthen it.

This is such a helpful comment.  When things go wrong nationally or personally we often find ourselves looking for reasons or explanations.  Is this God's judgment?  Is it God's discipline?  Or is this as a result of living in a fallen world?  Often times, especially in the case of large scale disasters, we have no way of knowing.  In personal matters we may have an inkling that God might be disciplining us, if we know that discipline is due.  But mostly, in the face of crisis, personal or national, it is simply not for us to know why, at least in the immediate situation.

But this, as Jonathan Parnell has said, we know.  Satan will use the situation to destroy our faith.  And God will use it to strengthen it.  That is all we need to know.  And then we need to attend to it in God's strength as best we can - that our faith might be strengthened.  And that is enough.

Aging and Sanctification

I found this very short talk (it's about four minutes so it really is short) from John Piper about aging and sanctification interesting and helpful. 

At one point he explained that getting older doesn't equal sanctification.  Certain desires - he listed lust and greed for money but you could add all sorts of other things like grabbing for power, covetousness and so on - will likely lessen as a result of aging, sometimes for physiological reasons and sometimes because these things simply become redundant after a certain point in your life.  But just because these desires lessen or even disappear, that doesn't make you holier.  It is a deep seated, growing relationship with Jesus that makes you holy.  So it is important not to be fooled into thinking that you are growing in holiness if the aging process is bringing some of these urges under control.  They would be the hallmarks of growing in holiness but they don't represent holiness in and of themselves.  It seems so obvious as I write it down - but it's good to have teased out the distinction, none the less.

The benefit of aging, he said, is that "your resevoir of past grace is growing."  Lovely.  Your relationship with Jesus is all the more sure and strong because you can look back on an ever increasing collection of moments when you have seen God clearly at work in your life.  That is very steadying.

The unexpected surprise, he said, was that at age 30 he thought that in thirty years time he would be thirty years more kind and thirty years more patient.  But certain sins have remained and that this isn't necessarily the case.   Good to be mindful of this.

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through.  May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. 
1 Thessalonians 5:23,24

Why youth stay in church when they grow up

The post Making the transition from children's ministry to church, on the topic of seeing children make the transition into church and into a faith of their own, included a blend of notes I'd taken at a recent children's ministry conference and some personal thoughts.  The "take home" message from the workshop and the post that followed was that credible relationships between adults and children in church seems to be important.

But there's more!  Because being in church and staying in church is not just about relationships with others.

Jon Nielson is a youth pastor.   In his post Why youth stay in church when they grow up at The Gospel Coalition (HT: the lovely Jean) he considered the drift from church by teenagers and young adults and then made three observations of those in their 20's from his church who are thriving, flourishing Christians.  What seemed to make the difference?

1. They are converted.

Nielson said, "We need to stop talking about 'good kids.' We need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and fun retreats. We need to start getting on our knees and praying that the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work in the hearts of our students as the Word of God speaks to them...We need to preach, teach, and talk—all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work of regeneration to occur in the hearts and souls of our students."

2. They have been equipped, not entertained.

Which goes back to that idea that that our primary responsibility should be to prepare our children for a lifetime of service to God and His church.  And that is not to say that THERE WILL BE NO MORE FUN!  We teach and train our children in developmentally appropriate ways.   But our ultimate aim is to teach, train, equip and disciple, not to entertain (or babysit.)

3. Their parents preached the gospel to them.

Nielson said, "The common thread that binds together almost every ministry-minded 20-something that I know is abundantly clear: a home where the gospel was not peripheral but absolutely central."

Which reminds me of this quote, "You must never succumb to the thinking that this is the responsibility of the youth group and Sunday school. True conversion of the heart and soul of your children is your God-given charge," from Disciplines of a Godly Family by Barbara Hughes.

This is a very difficult subject to write about because it pulls right at the heart of the grace vs works tension.  It raises guilt.  Or prompts laziness. Ultimately whether a child makes the transition from vicarious faith to a flourishing owned faith rests in God's hands.  And yet, in His grace, God allows us to participate in the process of bringing our children to a saving knowledge of Him.  All rests in God's hands.  But these are some good things to guide us as we pick up our part that He has given us to play.  It is a long term work.  And it rests in prayerful dependence upon our gracious God.

Making the transition from children's ministry to church

A few weeks ago I went to a conference for people involved in children's ministry.  One of the sessions was an excellent talk on the subject of helping children/teenagers to transition from their children's ministry activities to sitting (happy and willingly) in church, given by David Goodwin from Kidsreach.

Here are a couple of the more background/philosophical issues he raised to get the ball rolling...

*  Our current understanding of the development of the brain suggests that teenagers' brains are not fully developed and will not be so until into their early 20s.  So we ought not to expect our teenagers to be fully able to make big life decisions (like the decision to live a life fully accountable to God) during their teenage years.  (It's a generalisation.  Some will.)

*  It helps to have a framework of faith development in mind.  David's framework (and I am sure there are others) is:
EXPERIENCE FAITH - living a vicarious faith of one's parents (0 to about 10 or 11 years old)
AFFILIATIVE FAITH - taking on the faith of those with whom they affiliate (the youth group, the football club, the school friends, the gang on the street...)
SEARCHING FAITH - leaving the affiliate group (either completely - by choice or because they have outgrown it - or at least mentally) and seeking out personal answers to the big questions
OWNED FAITH - taking on a faith of one's own

At this point David spent quite a long time talking about youth groups, suggesting that it is helpful to have a youth group for teenagers - a better group to affiliate with than maybe some of the other groups on offer. Because this is a better (safer?) place to do one's searching.  Which at one level I agree with, and which personally filled me with a measure of despair as we don't have a youth group at our church (with no real prospect of one starting any time soon) and I don't know of any viable youth group within coo-ee.  And I have heard time and again in wonderfully encouraging conversations, letters and blog posts that what so often pulled teenagers through those years was a good youth group.  A good youth group, I think, is a good thing.

That said, I was delighted to read Kathy Keller's post a few days ago, especially her words about youth groups - which did remind me once again (and I need reminding on this front every now and then) that the formula for raising our kids to be Christian adults is not Gospel + Youth Group or for that matter, Gospel + _______________(fill in the gap.)  Which is echoed in Cathy's wonderful post on raising kids to be Christian adults and also this quote from Disciplines of a Godly Family by Barbara Hughes. 

And sometimes I think people have to leave the church to do their searching.  I did.  It wasn't a dramatic exit.  Just a slow drift away.  And while I drifted off I didn't become a danger to myself or to anyone else.  It doesn't have to be horrible and damaging.  And in time (thankfully not too much time) God drew me back. 

Conversion is God's work.

David went on to suggest that some do seem to make the transition from their children's ministry activities to church and come out the other side as Christian adults.  At this point he provided a list of strategies and things that in his view seem to make a difference, most of which have to do with forming good relationships across the generations.  Here's his list...

*  Have the children and adults form REAL relationships with one another.
*  Provide "extra-curricular" community building activities like picnics, camps and parties to allow times for these relationships to form and grow.  (But it is incumbent upon the adults to not disappear off into their huddles and ignore the children during these times.)
*  Don't isolate the children from the adults and the adults from the children.  (So, for example, don't have the children arriving at church with their parents and being ushered straight into their separate activities.  Spend some time in church together before the children go off to their activities.)
*  And have whole services (maybe shorter ones) where the whole church is in together.
*  Teach the adults about the importance of being role models and mentors.  Teach the adults the importance of forming good relationships with the children.  This ought not to be the domain of those involved in children's ministry only.  It is everyone's responsibility.  The older generations have the responsibility to be proactive in leading the next generations to praise God.
*  Get lots of different adults into the children's activities to give their testimonies - to talk about their faith and how they fill their days and where God fits into all of that.
*  Never say to a child who is misbehaving during their children's activities, "If you keep doing that you will have to go into church and sit with your parents."  Oops...

One other thing David mentioned, slightly provocative but I think it has legs, is that children's ministry is perhaps too good these days.  We are good at what we do and we have great resources at our disposal.  And when the children move from children's ministry to church they can enter a period of culture shock.  Where are the games?  The prizes?  The puppets? 

There is a fine line.  We want the children to go rushing up to their parents at the end of their time together saying, "That was fantastic.  We want to come back next week."  And David Goodwin was talking to a nearly full auditorium of Sunday School and Scripture teachers who had given up a Saturday to attend a conference so that they could hone these very skills.  If we teach children we want to be doing it well. 

But David said at one point that our primary responsibility should be to prepare our children for a lifetime of service to God and His church.  That broadens out the scope of how we view our 30 or 40 minutes of Sunday School or Scripture time.  Ultimately it is God's work but this is a wonderful big picture view of what we are setting out to do with our children's and teens' ministries. 

Lots of good stuff to think about.

And I have to stop saying, "If you keep doing that you will have to go into church and sit with your parents."

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another—

and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 

Hebrews 10:25

If you have any other thoughts on what might help in the transition from children's ministry to church - ideas, theories, personal stories of success or failure - David Goodwin is writing a Masters' thesis on this very topic at the moment and would love to hear from you.  You can email him here.  He would love to hear from you.

A better prayer

When friends have babies I often pray that the newborn would never know a day in their life when they don't know that God is their loving Father in heaven.  I have prayed that prayer many times.  And not only for newborns.  I continue to pray this for various children, including our own boys and our godchildren.

I have been reflecting on how I became a Christian lately.  And I have heard my husband talk about his journey as a Christian a couple of times during the last week as well.  We share quite similar stories.  At one level there was a defining moment for me.  It was 13th August 1987, about 4pm, sitting by the river.  Ironically I skipped a lecture, the only lecture I EVER skipped at university*, to sit by the river to talk to God and give my life to Him.  I remember it as clear as day.

Yet despite this very particular moment, I have always know God as my Father in heaven.  I cannot remember a time when I did not acknowledge and love God.  My parents didn't go to church but they did send my sister and I to Sunday School each week.  And God in His providence always surrounded me with people who loved Him, even after the days of Sunday School - teachers, friends - there was always someone there asking a hard question, keeping me thinking, encouraging me along and as I now know, praying for me.  As a child my relationship with God was vibrant.  In my teenage years that relationship lost some of its vibrancy.  But I never lost a sense of God.  It was more a case of Him being in heaven and me being here in my life on earth.  Distance...but I never turned away.

And as I have heard my husband say twice in the last week of his story, while I can pinpoint an exact moment when I put myself under God's authority, it is actually hard to discount the nearly twenty preceding years when God continued to be very real and it was only my (I now understand) sinful pride that kept me from fully apprehending what it means to be a child of God.  I still had a relationship with God and He was very much at work in my life, even if I didn't fully grasp it.

I realised this week that during my first 20 years I lived the very prayer I pray for newborns.  There has never been a day in my life that I didn't know that God is my loving Father in heaven.  And for that I am deeply thankful.  But it took 20 years, a handful of faithful people who prayed for me and kept badgering me and also a series of events that gradually eroded my confidence in the things in which I had previously placed my security to understand that that God is my loving Father in heaven and Jesus is my friend, Lord and Saviour.  And I need both, not just the first.

So this week I am praying a better prayer for our boys and for our godchildren and for the various other children who are often found in my prayers, that they would never know a day when they don't know that God is their loving Father in heaven and that Jesus is their friend, Lord and Saviour.  This seems to be a better prayer.


* I went on in that particular unit to fail a mid-semester test - the only assessment I ever failed at university - and barely scraped a pass for the subject - the only subject I ever came close to failing.  Ah, Sociology of Education.  It should have been so interesting...

Pastoral Care

Cathy recently wrote a brilliant post about pastoral care.  Here is a large chunk of what she had to say.

Pastoral care is rejoicing with the joyful and sharing the sorrow of the sad. It's about bearing each others' burdens, while maturing to bear our own. It's helping each other change, in these waiting days, into the likeness of Jesus. This doesn't only happen in a crisis. A lot of good pastoral care will be prevention (training in godliness), and fortifying each other for future suffering.

A lot of hardship, grief and suffering outlasts a brief crisis. Real, long term relationships are what we need.

So perhaps it is helpful to think about pastoral care as all the stuff we all do to help each other persevere and mature, in long term relationships. It's not only what leaders and paid staff of a church do for everyone else, in the crises.

The end of pastoral care is the Day when we see Jesus. The goal of pastoral care is to have people get to that day, loving and trusting Jesus. It's about encouraging each other while it is still called Today, until that day, lest we drift in the meantime.

It's not our job to rescue people and take the mess away (Jesus ultimately does that). Our job is to help them endure through it, leaning on Jesus. Part of that encouragement will be alleviating crises with meals, visits and some solutions. But our care for people in a crisis won't be particularly effective if there is no shared "family" life before and after the crisis.

I really love the distinction Cathy has made between immediate crisis care and the long term pastoral care of helping one another to grow in our maturity in Christ so that we deal with our crises with increasing, God honouring maturity.  I think I am less melodramatic and self-absorbed than I was, say, ten years ago, when a crisis comes upon me.  And I hope and pray that in ten years time I can say the same thing, that I will be less melodramatic and self-absorbed than I am now.  There will always be a place for sensitive practical help for those in tough times.  I know I have been the recipient of many acts of kind and loving care.  But we serve one another well by continually pointing each other to the bigger picture so that we might be better prepared for adversity and then face it when it comes in ways that glorify God.