The Happiness Project

One day Gretchen Rubin was sitting on a bus musing about happiness.  Questions running around her mind like...

Am I happy?
What makes me happy?
Am I as happy as I could be?
What could I do to be happier?
What is happiness anyway?

And so she set out on a year long project, focussing on a different area of life each month such as  energy levels, marriage, work, parenthood, leisure, friendship and money. She spent a month on each topic - reading widely, critically analysing her own life in that area, choosing one or two resolutions to keep (complete with star charts and working on the basis that it takes twenty one days to form a habit) - to see if and how these things had an impact on her happiness. Along the way she recorded her journey and then pulled it altogether into The Happiness Project.

I was invited to read this book along with other teachers at the school where I do my relief teaching work as part of a push to improve happiness and wellbeing amongst the staff.

Criticisms first.

Firstly, up front and not so much a criticism as statement of fact, this is not a Christian book and from a Christian point of view it's pretty much a giant box of bandaids.  Certainly there are things we can do streamline our lives that will make things better or easier (and therefore probably make us happier) but in any case happiness here and now is not the Christian's ultimate goal.  God graciously gives me many good blessings and there is much happiness in my life but ultimately my joy and contentment (close cousins to happiness) are founded firmly in the Lord, with a clear-eyed focus on what is ahead rather than what is happening right now. 

Secondly, after I had finished reading it I went and read quite a few reviews because I was curious as to how others might have found it.  Some absolutely LOVED this book.  Others were dismissive.  It is after all a #firstworldproblem.
 
I think it's a book you either love or hate, and my theory is that where you fall will depend pretty much on where you stand with making new year's resolutions.  If you are one of the NYR naysayers then back your way out of the room and run away fast.  This book is not for you. 

As for me, I love the new year.   I love the fresh start. I love ripping the plastic off  my new diary, enjoying for a brief moment the look of all those empty pages, wondering at the prospect of what will fill them and then getting into the planning, preparing and dreaming. I love January because I also celebrate my birthday fairly early up so it's all new - a new year, a new age, a clean slate.  And I think making new year's resolutions is great.  For the record I broke my principal NYR  for 2019 by 14th January...and that's okay.

Right at the end of the book she says,

I'd noticed idly that a lot of people use the term "goal" instead of "resolution," and one day in December, it struck me that this difference was in fact significant.  You hit a goal, you keep a resolution.

Once you hit a goal - I'm going to run a marathon (not really, I'm just using that as an example) - it's done.  But you keep going with a resolution - keep it, break it, run away from it, come back and have another go, hope by the end of the year it you are a little bit further along the track than you were at the beginning.  Goals are finite but there is an ongoingness to resolutions.  And so I persist with my principal resolution for 2019.  It's like the work of growing in godliness.

While I found myself sometimes exhausted reading what Rubin got through month after month as she explored, resolved, read, refined and practiced, all while maintaining house, home, family and a job, I really like the principle she set out of having a new resolution each month.  Twelve new year's days.  Twelve chances to try and tighten things up.  Twelve different areas to focus on.  Or twelve new chances to work on the one area.  All motivated by turning over the calendar to a fresh start at the beginning of each month. 

For all that I've said, good and critical, I really enjoyed this book - it's a great summer holiday start of the year read. Rubin has a very engaging writing style and she move through lots of topics and ideas within each chapter without getting bogged down (except maybe the chapter on decluttering.)  She's read widely and quotes all sorts of interesting, fascinating things along the way.  The depth and breadth of her reading is quite amazing and she's very skilled at dropping lovely little morsels all through her writing.  The chapters (one for each month) operate reasonably discretely so if you aren't interested in a particular month's focus, you can skip it and move on quite successfully.  And of course it is steeped in growing gratitude.

There was one very pleasing morsel that I noticed near the end of the book.  Slightly Foxed.  If you love books and England, you might just want to click on that link.

It's a fun book and I'm expecting to return to it next summer.

How to Walk into Church

When friends move and they’re in the serious business of finding themselves a new church I always pray that they will find a church where they will be well ministered to AND where they can minister well, because going to church isn’t just about receiving. It is very much about giving as well. 

If you are someone who wants to do church well – or wants to know how to do church well – can I commend a fantastic little book to you called “How to Walk into Church” by Tony Payne.  It’s 64 pages and it took me about half an hour to read.  Thirty well spent minutes.

This little book is an encouragement to:-

*  Go to church and go regularly.  The very act of turning up every week is an enormous encouragement.

One of the most important acts of love and encouragement we can all engage in is the powerful encouragement of just being there – because every time I walk into church I am wearing a metaphorical t-shirt that says, “God is important to me, and you are important to me.”  And on the back it says, “And that’s why I wouldn’t dream of missing this.”  Similarly, when we stay away for no good reason one week out of three (or more), we send the opposite message. 
Page 37

*  Prepare for church by praying – about who you will sit next to, about a good conversation you might have before church or afterwards over coffee (and there some excellent, God honouring conversation starters mentioned in chapter six) – and also by reading and thinking through the Bible passage to be covered in advance.

*  Determine to participate actively during the service – standing and singing with joy, bringing your own Bible to follow the readings and listening actively to the sermon by taking notes, making good eye contact with the minister, nodding in agreement or giving an encouraging and warm smile at an appropriate moment.

*  Be on the lookout for ways to serve – fill in for someone who’s rostered on for something but didn’t make it, get the person who has a coughing fit a glass of water, open the window if it feels hot and stuffy.  Be the meerkat on guard and look for opportunities to be a blessing.

Our aim at church should be to build up and encourage other people – rather than thinking about how much we’re getting out of it or whether we’ve had a chance to exercise our gifts.  Love does not insist on its own way or press its own claims.  It is not obsessed with its own enjoyment or convenience.  Love does not complain or grumble, or stay home in bed because it couldn’t be bothered.  Love seeks the good of the other – patiently, kindly, truthfully, joyfully, constantly. 
Page 31

Who should read this book?  If you go to church, no matter how well (or otherwise) you walk in that church door, you should read this book.  It is such an encouragement to godliness.  Even better, because going to church is a group activity after all, is to read it with a group from church – maybe your Bible study group – so that you can encourage each other in the ministry of walking into church well. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 
Hebrews 10:24-25

Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax

"What are you reading Mum?" asked one son.
"It's a horror story," I replied.

"Boys Adrift" by Leonard Sax is a study into the growing problem of unmotivated teenage boys who grow up to be underachieving young men who fail to launch, have no aspirations and aren't interested in leading functional, productive lives.  Sounds like a fun holiday read?  Well, it wasn't that much fun to read really.  But terror turned to thinking and discussing as soon as I had read the last page and I continue to ponder the issues.

Sax looks at five areas that he thinks is contributing to the problem of boys adrift.
1. An education system that doesn't suit boys.
2. Computer games.  (The book was written in 2009.  I think you could safely broaden this out to cyber addiction in general, although there are some specifics attached to gaming.)
3. The effects of medications prescribed for ADHD. 
4. Changes to the male body wrought by modern life - chemicals, plastics and so on.   The evidence Sax has collected suggests that the male body is affected more than the female body.
5. A bundle of things including a growing shortage of good male role models, a devaluation of masculinity, no real rites of passage for boys coupled with too many trophies along the way and parental failure to show a little tough love (like mothers still doing the washing for their 30-somethings who still live at home).

He provides a very in depth study into each of these areas and all five stand independent of each other.   That is, one is not the cause of another. 

I really like this book because it reads real.  It's not all neat and tidy.  The author doesn't present each problem and then offer a five point plan on how to fix it.  There are some solutions and ideas along the way but this is very much a work in progress and he is really just raising flags.

What is terrifying then is that in some instances there are no solutions, not for an individual family anyway.  Some of the problems raised are systemic issues that are just too big, and so in some senses the solutions lie in working out how to live, work and problem solve alongside these issues that aren't going away anytime soon.    

While he did suggest on at least a couple of occasions that some of the issues or consequences reaped were beyond solving, I think it's worth noting that since 2009 there has been huge research done on brain plasticity.  More things are reversible than we previously ever imagined.  It would be interesting to see how his thinking has developed.  And as a Christian and without being all silly about it, I believe that there is plenty that we can change through a growing, maturing, prayferful faith. Granted, Sax is not writing this study from a Christian perspective.

Anyway, not a fun book but an important one I think.  It is written thoughtfully and soberly.  Sax has not set out to give anyone nightmares.  This is all about education and awareness.  I thought it was helpful.  Who else might find it useful?  Parents of boys.  Teachers.  Youth group leaders and folk in university ministry.  Observers of rapid sociological change. 

Now, I'm off to teach a couple of boys to use the washing machine.  :-)  Nah, just kidding.  I'm off to make a cup of tea.

The Minor Prophets

Speaking of the Minor Prophets, if you are looking for a resource to help you get into the last twelve books of the Old Testament then "The Minor Prophets" by Jack P. Lewis is the book for you. This book has been around for a while but wait...wait...WAIT!  Don't switch off.  Because I have just read some reviews of this book and lots of them said words to the effect of, "Still one of the best guidebooks to the Minor Prophets."

Not that I had to read the reviews to find out about this book.  I have just used it in preparation for Monday evenings and have studied it two or three times in the past during similar tilts through this section of the Bible.  And I often refer to it during my personal reading of the Minor Prophets when it gets to that point in the plan.

Why?  Because it's short, concise and supremely useful.  There is a chapter, each one no more than ten pages, for each prophet.  Every chapter includes some general information about the prophet, where he fits into biblical history and dating as can best be determined (and where there is some debate Lewis outlines the possibilities.)  There is a general overview of the book, a structure and some commentary on significant sections, key concepts and on some of the trickier bits than cannot be left unexplained.  It's detailed but not technical.  You can read it and reasonably speedily.  Towards the end of each chapter Lewis mentions where each prophet is quoted or alluded to in the New Testament and brings the reader back to Jesus.  And every chapter finishes with a short set of astute study questions. 

I don't think this book is in print anymore which is a huge shame but a quick search shows that there are still plenty of copies to found here and there.  And if you are serious about learning not just to understand but to love this part of the Bible then this is THE book for you.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous.

They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb.
By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Psalm 19:7-11

The Radical Disciple by John Stott

Here's a wonderful book you might like to read.  The Radical Disciple is the last book written by John Stott.  At the end of this book he put down his pen and finished his writing ministry.  As such it has a similar feel to Paul's second letter to Timothy - full of wonderful and pastoral words but with the tenderness that comes with a final letter.

In The Radical Disciple Stott chose to wrote about some of the hallmarks you would hope to see in someone who is actively and intentionally seeking to grow in Christlikeness.  He has addressed eight issues that growing Christians ought to be thinking about.  These include:

Non-conformity
Christlikeness
Maturity
Creation-care
Simplicity
Balance
Dependence
and
Death

It's a slightly random list but Stott himself says that this list isn't exhaustive.  The style shifts and changes from chapter to chapter - at times it reads like a short essay (don't be scared by the word "essay" though because it is very accessible writing) while at other times there are personal anecdotes, specially selected quotes from old favourites and extracts from sermons and talks.  In lots of ways it reads like a personal journal - and you get a real sense of what it must have been like to sit with him in his study and talk together about all the good stuff.

This book is a pure delight to read, filled with the words of a mature, wise, well thought through saint - instructive, pastoral and full of encouragement to strive for godliness without engendering guilt. 

The Radical Disciple would be a great birthday present book (I know this to be true because I received a copy of it for my birthday from a dear friend), a valuable volume for a church library and a fascinating read for a book club with so many great and relevant issues up for discussion.  John Stott has left us with an amazing and beautiful gift in this book.

Summer reading

I got myself reading glasses two or three years ago and there has not been a day when I haven't been thankful for them.  It is truly miraculous to be able to read print so easily.  But clearly in the time I've had them I haven't read lots and lots.  How do I know?  Because this holidays I read a vast amount and the bridge of my nose where my glasses sit is slightly tender.  But so worth it.  It has been a joyous time with so many good books.

 

 

This summer's reading commenced with The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce.  I have declared this to be the best novel of 2015, which is a big call so early into the year. Harold receives a letter from Queenie, a friend and work colleague from many years previous, letting him know she is dying and is thankful for his many kindnesses shown to her all those years ago.  In shock, he pens a quick letter back and sets off to post it.  When he reaches the mail box, deep in thought and memory, he isn't quite ready to let his letter go and head home so he decides to walk to the next letter box, and then the next and then the next...and ultimately he walks the entire length of England from south to north, to deliver the letter in person.  But does he make it in time?  This is a tale about a journey, reflection, atonement, transitions, moving on. 

 

 

I read The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy, the companion volume to Harold's story, straight after.  This is Queenie's story, told while Harold is making his pilgrimage.  The benefit of reading them back to back is to see the extremely cleverly crafted parallel journey they take.  The downside is that this story is grittier and it takes away some of the innocence of its companion volume...although the truly innocent characters remain innocent in both.  I am a sucker for books that tell the same story from different points of view but given my time again I would probably give myself six months gap between volumes.

 

 

Speaking of telling the same story from different points of view, The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd is the story of Sarah, a white American, and Handful, her black African slave given to Sarah on her 11th birthday.  Both are of similar age.  The story commences in the early 1800s - a time when intelligence in women and racial differences were not honoured.  (That is putting it positively...)  The story spans their lives, told in the first person alternating chapter by chapter between Sarah and Handful, with some delightful twists and surprises for the reader especially towards the end.  It doesn't make for easy reading at times - it is difficult subject matter - but Sue Monk Kidd has an astonishingly large and elegant vocabulary and her turn of phrase time and again was breathtaking - and it was her beautiful command of the English language that kept me turning the pages especially in the more torrid sections.   Very worthwhile reading.

 

And then Lila.  For anyone else who loves reading the same story from a different point of view and loves a novel by Marilynne Robinson, this one ticks all the boxes and more.  Companion volume to Gilead and Home, it felt like a sad book at times but at the same time full of hope, light and blessing too. A tale of transitions from harsh life to gentle life.

 

 

Us reads like a cheery, chatty blog with short, cheery chapters.   Douglas (54) is married to Connie and they have one son named Albie (18).  Douglas and Connie plan to take Albie on a Grand Tour of Europe to see all the great works of art before he heads off to university.  It ends up being a grand tour in which Douglas seeks to save his marriage and reconnect with his increasingly distant son.  If you love art and Europe this is a fun read.  I admit that it was losing me at Amsterdam - which is the cleverness of the writing because Nicholls captures the hallmark elements of each location with each change of scenery - and I only held on because Italy (ah, bell'Italia) was approaching.  But I found my happy place in Italy and the novel finished well.  It was fun.  I would like to get One Day from the library and have a read some time soon.

 

 

Speaking of wanting to read more of a particular author, I haven't read any Bill Bryson before but it won't be too long before I put his book Down Under (and maybe even some others by him) on reserve at the library.  At Home.  This is not a novel.  It's a history book.  And it's fantastic.  I haven't finished it yet.  Bryson takes the reader on a tour of his home - a rectory in Engand - room by room, recounting the history of domestic life.  Things like why we even have rooms - a relatively recent thing historically speaking - for starters.  Things like why we have salt and pepper on our tables and not some other spice, why forks have four tines, a history of lighting and electricity in houses.  Windows.  How did houses come to have windows?  Sounds a bit dry?  I do it no justice.  This books is a laugh out loud (and I generally laugh on the inside when I am reading but not with this one) and fascinating page turner.  The best I can say is that of the eight books I read this summer, this is one of three that I own - not reading this from the library - and it is one I am very pleased to be able to keep on my shelf and share with my friends.

 

I stopped At Home for a few days because my request at the library for The Rosie Effect, the sequel to The Rosie Project, came up.  (And At Home is a book you can comfortably pick up and put down without losing the momentum.)  The Rosie Project is a fun read and so is this - good for holidays  although you know how sequels are often never quite as good...  Compared with The Rosie Project the plot in this one is busy, which is structurally right given the move from single man living and working in Australia to married man living and working in New York.  Mix Apserger Syndrome (fairly high end) into the equation and you get the idea.  The book captures the changes perfectly.  Chaotic at times but it all came together in a very satisfying way in the end.

At one stage I was in between books, waiting for The Rosie Effect to come up on reserve at the library and for At Home to arrive in the mail, so I pulled The Happiest Refugee off the shelf where we were staying.  Ahn Do is a Vietnamese refugee, family man and actor/comedian/author.  The Happiest Refugee shows life as a refugee (what life was like before escaping, the horrible, horrible escape and what life is like in a new country with few rights and no resources) in a light way.  Enough to get a very clear sense of what it is like to be a refugee without leaving the reader having nightmares - enough to engender empathy and response without being paralysed by the horror and with plenty to entertain along the way.  And Ahn Do shows gratitude in action.  Good work Ahn Do.  He also has a series of kids books - the Weir Do series - that does the same thing for children and our boys loved them.

But for now, it's back to At Home for me.

A Gospel Pageant by Allan Chapple

When a teacher covers a subject frequently and thoughtfully their "script" becomes well honed.  They learn what is necessary to include and what can be left out.  Where an anecdote by example is helpful or superfluous...even if it is a ripping good yarn.  Their teaching starts to look more like poetry and less like a novel.  Every word counts.  And when this experienced, well thought out teacher distils their script into a book - and they're in possession of good writing skills - you know you are in possession of gold.

Allan Chapple is that teacher and his book A Gospel Pageant:  A Reader's Guide to the Book of Revelation is one of those books of gold.

WAIT!!  STOP!!!  DON'T GO AWAY!!! 

I haven't written a post in ages.  Please stay.  I know, I KNOW...Revelation.  I know.  Truly I do.  But please don't click on that cross or swipe me aside.  Really.

I have a friend who jokes (I think) about not reading anything in the Bible after James because anything after that and it's just getting way too close to Revelation.  It's funny.  (Well, it's funny if he's joking.)

And yet, I sympathise.  After some bad teaching on Revelation (including bad, bad, BAD movies at the mid-week Bible study group) pretty early on in my Christian life I have been scarred for life.  Even though I have since sat under some very good teaching on Revelation I cannot shake the knot that immediately forms in my stomach at the very mention of the book.  Someone suggests we study Revelation in Bible study - inward groan.  I get up to Revelation in my reading plan - oh no.  A post comes up on Revelation - I am reaching for my mouse ready to move on to something else.  I know.

But this year Revelation did come up as a topic for mid-week Bible study.  So this year I have taken A Gospel Pageant off the shelf to read.  I've read it four times in the last few weeks.  And I'm not finished with it yet.

If you are after a  sensible, thorough,  consistent, thought-through and ultimately not-scary coverage of Revelation then this book is for you.  It undoes our tendency to latch onto a particular part of Revelation without giving thought to the greater context - an approach which often ends up in a scary distorted interpretation. A Gospel Pageant is not about cracking codes and understanding the minutae of the book but about how to read Revelation as a coherent whole in all of its gloriousness and terribleness, reflecting the fact as learned from the rest of the Bible that the Last Day will be both terrible and glorious.

A Gospel Pageant provides the tools for a confident reading of Revelation.  As a result of reading this book alongside Revelation my view of Jesus has been magnified.  I am encouraged and spurred on to strain towards heaven and flee from hell, to strive for godliness and scarper from sin.  This book gives a well founded urgency to prayerful personal godliness, evangelism and discipleship.  It is both instructive and pastoral. 

Unfortunately the scars of my poor introduction to Revelation run deep.  I suspect I am not alone.  I know that in a year's time I will get up to Revelation in my reading plan and my heart will sink again.  It is a deep set default position which will mess with my memory and will mean that I won't retain all the details of this book.  But at 85 eminently readable pages - the fruit of many years of teaching to finely hone the script - this will now remain my handy companion when I reach the last book of the Bible until such time as the old Revelation scars have healed.

It is currently out of print but there are still a few copies floating around the Internet so I would say get yourself a copy while you still can, keep your eyes peeled for when the reprint happens or you could leave a comment here to go into a draw to win a copy - because as it happens I have a spare. Think of it as a reward for not clicking off this post when you read the word "Revelation" at the beginning and for persisting to the end.  I'll draw out a winner at the end of next week.

[Thank you to those of you do your Book Depository shopping via this blog, the proceeds of which help to fund book giveaways like this.] 

The Light Between Oceans

I read a wonderful novel over the Easter weekend.  I was hooked by the end of the first page.  A third of the way through I was racing though and I just couldn't put it down.  By two thirds of the way through I'd slowed the pace right down because I didn't want it to end.  It joins the genre that I've called the "gentle page turner" which has been defined elsewhere on this blog.

A book that moves along slowly and yet is a page turner.
A book that is quiet and gentle but not light weight by any stretch of the imagination.
Full of peace, compassion, deep love, honour and loyalty portrayed through clean, beautiful writing.
That is a gentle page turner.

It's the genre which includes Gilead, Crossing to Safety and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.

This latest discovery tells of life after World War One - what it was like for those who didn't go away to war and what it was like for those who returned from the fighting to try and resume normal life.  It tells of the life of those brave men and women who were lighthouse keepers before it all became automated.  It's the story of a returned service man, his new bride and their new life as the lighthouse keeper and wife on a tiny island just off the Australian mainland.  And then there is the mystery of the row boat that comes to shore on the island with a dead man and a tiny baby, very much alive.

The Light Between Oceans is the debut novel for ML Stedman.  It gets five stars from me.  And I'd give it some more if there were more to give on the standard star rating.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

And lest you think I LOVE every book I read, after this (and I guess it was always going to be a hard act to follow) I started The Book Thief.  I got about a hundred pages in and have put it aside.  Despite the rave reviews that abound, this is not the book for me, at least at this time.  And so I have gone back to the classics.  North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.  I know every inch of the BBC mini-series.  It's nice to be reading the words now.

Trusting God by Jerry Bridges

No plan of God's can be thwarted; when He acts no-one can reverse it; no-one can hold back His hand or bring Him to account for His actions.  God does as he pleases, only as He pleases, and works out every event to bring about the accomplishment of His will.  Such a bare unqualified statement of the sovereignty of God would terrify us if that were all we knew about God.  But God is not only sovereign.  He is perfect in love and infinite in wisdom.

From Trusting God by Jerry Bridges page 45

Have I mentioned how much I love the book Trusting God by Jerry Bridges?  Oh yes, I have.  I read it again during the summer and have decided that I will try to read it annually. 

Jerry Bridges is a humble man who loves God deeply and has the firmest possible grasp of the sovereignty of God.  He explains in this book how God is in control of all things and that we can confidently trust Him in all things.  All things.

My sense is that God gives many, if not all (but I wouldn't want to be so bold as to make that call) Christians particularly clear insight into one aspect of the Big Picture to share with one another.  For me it's God's sovereignty.  I just trust that God is in control.  I always have.  And it is no problem for me. 

But if that is the case, why would I read this book?  Wouldn't I read a book in an area that I don't get?  I love this book because it gives me courage.  Because when I say to someone, "This is in God's hands," or even more directly, "God is in control," I can hear them saying, "There she goes again with her Christian clichés."  Even Christians tell me I am being clichéd.  And they roll their eyes.  And yet I'm not being clichéd.  I truly, truly believe it.  So I love this book because Jerry Bridges speaks of God's sovereignty with such courage, belief and confidence that it fills my heart with joy.

He takes the reader through a process of understanding how and why God is in control and then explains how we can put our trust in Him, even when those circumstances are difficult.  And throughout the book he demonstrates, page after page, that God's sovereignty operates firmly on the foundation of God's perfect love and perfect wisdom.  God isn't being controlling in the worst sense of the word.  He is ordering all things in perfect love and wisdom.

Bridges tackles all of the tricky questions around this issue - suffering on a personal and larger scale, considering ourselves pawns in God's big game of chess, where prayer fits into this and so on - in a helpful, pastoral way.  And he writes in an easy style, making this book a joy to read.  He quotes lots of Scripture - full quotes, not references to texts - and I have enjoyed coming upon the passages he uses in my daily Bible reading and understanding more fully how God is at work as a result, seeing His love and mercy unfold in the story.

Reading this book has magnified my view of God and my trust in Him.  It comforts and calms me.  As I said, I will be reading it again.  And I commend it to you too.  Add it to your list and be encouraged.

Two books about grief - and a third waiting in the wings

Over the last two or three years I have read and reflected on the subjects of suffering, death and grief quite a lot.  And it's been helpful.  But with all that energy, enthusiasm and optimism that comes with the beginning of a fresh new year I had thought that maybe this year I should shift my gaze to life and living.  You know, eating hot cross buns eight days into the year and other crazy stuff like that.  Yet, twenty days in and I had read two books on grief and been reminded of a third - Timothy Keller's Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering published last year - to acquire and read. 

The first two, predictably, were A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken and A Grief Observed by CS Lewis.  Both are beautifully written, personal accounts of grief following the deaths of their respective wives.  Without giving names to them, they write their way through what we know as the stages of grief - stages that don't pass in orderly fashion but that swirl around and around, being revisited time and time again - painfully, frustratingly and sometimes even comfortingly. 

These are wonderful books, but they're not books I'd give to someone in the raw stages of early grief.  As CS Lewis himself, a man of reading and writing and books and letters, said,

And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief.  Except at my job - where the machine seems to run on much as usual - I loathe the slightest effort.  Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much.

(A Grief Observed - Part One)

What I found especially helpful was reading about that time in grief that Vanauken calls "the second death" - and which CS Lewis described in his book in depth.  It's that moment in grief when it stops being so very raw.  When there aren't tears every day.  When maybe it's harder to bring a clear picture of the one lost so readily to mind or recall the exact tone of their voice.  It is the second death - and it feels all disloyal and like a betrayal.  And yet, it is getting through this step that leads to peace and acceptance.

Great books to read for their sheer beauty, to keep learning about grief and how to respond to it in a godly way and perhaps to share with someone who has reached that point of frustration in their grief and needs to give words to what is happening, see that it will pass - which is OK - and be assured that they will emerge from it all, albeit as a changed (hopefully stronger, richer) person from the one who stepped into the process.

Two books about prayer

I have heard said that if you want to learn about prayer you should read a book about God, rather than a book about prayer.  So true.  Knowing the One to whom we pray is a great encouragement to pray.  But there are times when a specific boost comes in handy.  I've been in need of such a boost so I pulled the two books on prayer that have been waiting quietly in the wings and had a read.

A Praying Life by Paul Miller is good meeting point between a book about God and a book about prayer.  Paul Miller loves God.   And he loves praying.  He prays all the time.  About the big and the small.  He has complete trust that God hears and answers his prayers.  Paul Miller gets "pray without ceasing."

This book is an exhortation to pray.  Like Wendy said, this book makes you want to pray.   And like Jean said, you don't have to wait until you have things all sorted out to come before God because He wants you to come messy.

When Jesus describes the intimacy he wants with us, he talks about joining us for dinner. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

A praying life feels like our family mealtimes because prayer is all about relationship.  It's intimate and hints at eternity.  We don't think about communication or words but about whom we are talking with.  Prayer is simply the medium through which we experience and connect to God.

Oddly enough, many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God.

I didn't agree with absolutely everything he had to say.  And personally I found it a bit too anecdotal - which is funny because used to love books with lots of stories woven into them...  But even so I would have no hesitation in sharing this book with others.  Miller takes the mystery out of prayer (but not the wonder of it) and provides warm encouragement to get on with it, without fear.  If you have stopped praying or never really got started, if you are stuck in a rut or want to up the ante, this book will spur you on. 

The second book I read is called Praying by JI Packer and Carolyn Nystrom.  I've had this one for six years, mostly unread, having had several attempts at starting it.  Others seem to have had that experience with this book as well.    Which I think has much to do with JI Packer's style of writing.  It's deep and dense.  You have to read it slowly.  In fact I read a review of this book that started, "This book is SO good that I had to take six months to read it."

This book is not a quick fix book.  If you need a quick prayer-pick-me-up then this isn't the book for you.  The authors say as much at the beginning - that "non-practitioners" of prayer will be quickly left behind.  But if you want to take deeper look into the subject of prayer - and the One to whom we pray - then this is a great volume.

I didn't get the best out of this book.  I mostly read it late at night and the chapters are long - however the chapters are divided into shorter sections.  A better way to read it, as the reviewer said, would be to take your time.  A bit like Knowing God.  The next time I read it - and I will read it again so I can't say better than that - I will read it not chapter at a time, but smaller section at a time and go through it slowly, slowly over a longer period of time.  There is a great set of study questions at the end of the book as well - and taking it more slowly, I would do the studies as well, which include sections on understanding what has been said, studying the Bible and deep praying - not just a quick prayer tacked on at the end for sake of completeness. 

It's certainly not the easiest book I've read all year, but it's a worthwhile read.  And there are lots of quotes from the puritans and from CS Lewis, so that may spark an interest for at least one fellow blogger.

Church History in Plain Language by Bruce L. Shelley

I was speaking to a friend about church history books the other day, having recently finished Church History in Plain Language by Bruce L. Shelley.  She commented that she's never really wanted to read a church history survey because they seem like a litany of bad, sad and sorry situations.  And in a sense she is right.  There is a lot that is grim about church history.  And yet, in every bad and sad situation we find a man or a woman of faith who stands firmly, courageously, faithfully and steadfastly for what is Right.  That is, we see God at work in and through His people.  It is the unfolding of the unstoppable gospel. 

Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.
Acts 5:38, 39

And so the there is a lot that is inspiring in church history.

This particular rendering of church history is a great read.  Shelley is a man who clearly loves God and his writing is very pastoral.  He spends plenty of time explaining the contemporary significance of church history.  This is extraordinarily helpful, making this book so much more than a list of dates, names, places and events.

Being just a single volume, he skips through events reasonably quickly.  The upside is that he doesn't get bogged down, ever.  The downside is that at times, it may be just a little bit sketchy in parts for church history novices.  However his writing is clear.  And in my view he presents the clearest explanation I've read of the last six hundred years, where things do get quite complicated.  I understand the events of these times - and therefore what is happening in our own era of church history - so much better now.  Thank you Dr. Shelley. 

The chapters are short (yay!) and there are good tables, maps and diagrams.  This is a worthwhile read, at so many levels.

Other church history books...
The Story of Christianity by Justo Gonzales
Feminine Threads by Diana Lynn Severance

And here are five good reasons to read a church history book.  Everyone should read at least one in their life time.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield has been doing the rounds of the blogs for a while.  It found its way onto my pile of books to read late last year but I have just got to reading it very recently.

Written by an English professor it is, as you would expect, beautifully crafted.  It's an autobiography - Rosaria Champagne Butterfield's journey from successful English literature professor at Syracuse University specialising in Queer Theory and committed lesbian to a pastor’s wife who now spends her days teaching not university students in lecture theatres but her adopted children around her own kitchen table.

I have read quite a few reviews on this book - I was interested to see what other people thought.  There are many positive reviews out there on this one and interestingly, each one picks up on something different.  This books meets different people in different places.

Three things struck a chord for me - all from the first half the book.

The first is the lesson that it is not up to us to decide how far we think the gospel can reach.  The gospel can makes it way into all sorts of tiny nooks and crannies that we would never have imagined to be within its reach.  It's just not our job to decide who we think will respond to the gospel and who we might consider to be a lost cause.  I felt rebuked for times of being judgmental.

The second is that sharing the gospel is not about shiny programmes and polished performances.  In this case it was through quiet conversations around the dinner table over many, many months of calm, kind, patient hospitality, slowly answering questions and never forcing the issue or pushing for a result.  I felt rebuked for my impatience.

But it is the third that most captivated me. 

There are many victorious stories of conversion to Christianity out there, where the new convert is full of joy and zeal and energy.  And it is a great and wonderful thing to be brought into a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, so don't get me wrong. 

But my own conversion was not like that.  The day I became a Christian I went from being the consummate goody-goody to discovering that my life was full of sin.  The day I became a Christian marked the beginning of six weeks of being more depressed than I've ever been in my whole life as I came to realise how much of a goody-goody I wasn't and twelve months of utter exhaustion as I set about rethinking every thought and opinion I held to make sure it lined up with what I newly believed.  I remember crying for someone when I heard they too had become a Christian, knowing that they were now heading into a hard time of re-evaluating everything and appreciating their own sinfulness.  Becoming a Christian turned my whole world upside down.  Now I am glad for it - for having my world turned upside down and for the things I learned during that time - but at the time it did not seem an easy start.

And my experience was nothing compared with Rosaria Champagne Butterfield's start to the Christian life.  She says towards the end of chapter one:

When I became a Christian I had to change everything - my life, my friends, my writing, my teaching, my advising, my clothes, my speech, my thoughts.  I was tenured to a field that I could no longer work in...I was writing a book I could no longer write... 
Page 26

And later on of her conversion, "I lost everything but the dog."  (p. 63)

I don't want to celebrate her pain.  But I was glad to read her honest account.  I suspect that this experience of having one's world turned upside down is more common than our cheery books or blogs would have us believe.  Life is messier than that.

This is good, honest writing.  I didn't agree with everything she had to say - that seems to be a common thread in the reviews I've read as well - and so perhaps that needs to be said by way of warning when sharing this book with others, but none the less, it's a worthwhile, instructive and encouraging read.

Books about hard places # 2

The other book I read regarding life in a hard place recently was Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea by Barbara Demick.   Now, if we don't know much about what life is really like in Pakistan and Afghanistan, then I think it is safe to say that we know even less about life for the ordinary person in North Korea.

This book has been sitting on my bedside table for about six months.  It came warmly recommended.  But I just couldn't pick it up.  Maybe it was the grey cover that stopped me from opening it.  It looks pretty bleak.  And yet, when I finally got started I couldn't put it down.

On opening to the first page, what piqued my interest immediately was a photo similar to this one right at the beginning of chapter one.  Click on the picture to get a better view.


Photo from here

It is an aerial view by night of North and South Korea and surrounding countries.  Notice all the light patches - cities and towns lit up with night life illuminated by the electric light bulb. 

Then, in the middle of it all, an expanse of blackness nearly as large as England.  It is baffling how a nation of 23 million people can appear as vacant as the oceans.  North Korea is simply blank. 

North Korea faded to black in the early 1990's.  With the collapse of the Soviet Union, which had propped up its old Communist ally with cheap fuel oil, North Korea's creakily inefficient economy collapsed.  Power stations rusted into ruin.  The lights went out.  Hungry people scaled utility poles to pilfer bits of copper wire to swap for food...

North Korea is not an underdeveloped country; it is a country that has fallen out of the developed world.

(From chapter one of Nothing to Envy.)

What happened that a developed country fell into darkness, famine (20% of its population died of starvation during the 1990's) and utter disarray in the space of a few decades? 

Nothing to Envy is an oral history.  It follows the life of six North Koreans.  Some of the six remember life before the current regime took power and know just to keep their mouths shut.  The rest have grown up under the regime with heads so full of propaganda (North Korea is not connected to the Internet and no-one, at least legally, owns a mobile phone) that they believe that they truly have nothing to envy about the outside world, that the North Korean government is looking after them and that all is in hand. 

The book covers fifteen years taking in the death of Kim Il-sung and the rule of his son Kim Jong-il.  Eventually, for these six people, doubt creeps in.  Doubt in time leads to courageous defection and that is how Barbara Demick, an award winning journalist from the Los Angeles Times, comes to meet with them, interview them over many months and corroborate their stories with others in order to weave together a picture of life in this closed country.

It is grim reading.  Not the least because what has happened in North Korea has happened, and is happening, in our lifetime.  But be not put off by that comment or by the bleak cover.  Once I opened this book I could not put it down.  Because for all its bleakness, I was also inspired.  This is courage and tenacity at its absolute best.  Written down beautifully, insightfully and cleanly.  The word that springs to mind is "compelling."

Also, it is good to know about this.  And good to pray.

Books about hard places # 1

I've just finished reading a couple of great books about life in hard places - Pakistan, Afghanistan and North Korea. 

The first one was Shoot Me First by Grant Lock.  Grant and his wife Janna spent 24 years working with a mission organisation close to my heart in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  They came to the task as successful cattle breeders in South Australia but spent their years overseas supporting micro-hydroelectric schemes, teaching English as a second language, overseeing a massive eye-care programme and caring for all who crossed their paths. 

Shoot Me First is masterfully written.  In spots it's laugh out loud funny.  Right in the opening pages Lock describes trying to register his family with the Pakistani government on their arrival.  The man he is dealing with doesn't seem to think Lock is a sufficiently suitable surname.  Too short.  Too pedestrian.

His intense gaze is making me uncomfortable.  I thought I'd articulated it clearly, but I'll try again.  "Lock," I repeat slowly.
He still looks disdainfully puzzled.  Suddenly a light of descriptive genius flashes in my brain.  I rotate my hand as though I'm turning a key.  "Lock!  You know!  Lock, as in door."
His face changes.  He gives a satisfied sigh, as though his lips have just sampled the rich blend of spices in a superior mutton karahi.  "Ah yes, that is a good name, Sahib.  That is to be a very good name."  Under Matthew's watchful gaze he completes the entry with meticulous care.  Then he looks up and addresses me warmly. "Welcome to Pakistan, Mr Lokazindore."

(From chapter two of Shoot Me First.)

But if some parts had me laughing, other parts were read through tears.  These are truly hard places in which to live.  The Locks lived and worked amongst the ordinary people of Pakistan and Afghanistan and it was tough.  Grant and Janna Lock showed amazing, AMAZING compassion, care and love for those in their contact.

Shoot Me First reads like extracts from the journals of their years away.  But it is so much more than a collection of stories from their time overseas.  Through their tales Lock seeks to educate.  What is it really like in these countries that are so torn, stretched and oppressed by political, social and religious tensions, especially for the poor and the outcast?  Grant Lock explains, illustrates, teaches and cuts through all sorts of myths - and as it turns out, we in the west don't always come out as right. It is hard to garner an accurate picture of "normal" life in these countries.  But I am confident to accept Lock's testimony given they spent a of quarter of a century living in amongst and serving the ordinary people of Pakistan and Afghanistan - and I am glad to have a clearer and even handed view of these nations which now enables me to pray better for those I know who currently work there.

A Christian biography?  Well, yes.  But in a very understated way.  There is no doubt that Grant and Janna are people of deep and abiding faith and trust in God.  But throughout the book their faith is mostly implied rather than stated.  I assume they have taken a low key approach for security reasons, given that some of their programmes are still up and running.  But it works for us too, making this a great book to share with friends and neighbours, showing faith in action without going overboard.

This is a wonderful book.  Really wonderful.  So worth a read to learn about life in these hard places and to be inspired and moved by this compassionate and faithful couple.

And here is the Shoot Me First website.

Holding on to Hope

I have read all of the anthologies Nancy Guthrie has edited  - on Christmas, Easter, suffering and on dying - more than once and have given away oh so many copies of them all.  These are truly wonderful, wonderful books.  But until recently I hadn't ever read anything written by Nancy Guthrie herself.
 

But now I have. 

 

Nancy Guthrie and her husband lost a baby daughter at six months of age to Zellwegers's Syndrome.  Hope's condition was discovered at birth and the Guthries spent the next six months loving their precious daughter and painfully anticipating her death.  As carriers of this syndrome, the Guthries took surgical steps to prevent them from having further children.  The procedure reversed itself and a couple of years after Hope passed away, Gabriel was born, also with Zellwegers Syndrome.  He passed away one day short of turning six months old.

 

 

Holding on to Hope, based around the book of Job (from the Bible), was written by Nancy Guthrie during the months between Hope's death and Gabriel's birth.  It is a book about suffering and dying, leaning on God and trusting in Him.  Like Jerry Bridges' books, it sits firmly on the foundation of God's sovereignty. 

 

I feel as though I have read, thought, prayed about and written quite a lot about suffering and death in the last few years.  In the western world, where life is so easy, we don't (I generalise here) manage sufffering and grief well.  We are outraged by it.  And at one level this is entirely correct.  Death is appalling.  But we rage in ways that are selfish and godless.  We think these sorts of things just shouldn't happen in this day and age.  So for me, the last few years has been about working through what ought to be a Right response when crisis comes.

 

What makes Holding on to Hope so very good is that it takes the theory of what is biblical in responding to suffering and grief and applies it squarely to a real life situation of horrendous suffering and grief.  There was no fist shaking at God.  Nor, at the other extreme, was there a facade of stoicism.  The grief was real.  I don't doubt that every page of her manuscript was tear stained.  But it was godly grief.  A grief founded in trust and a deeply faithful acceptance that God  had their lives and circumstances sovereignly, lovingly and wisely in hand.

 

This is a book to share with someone in grief.  To help them grieve well.  It concerns a specific situation - the loss of a child - but it will speak to all situations of grief.  This is a book to share with someone for whom life is good - that they might use the peaceful times to prepare for times ahead when suffering will swiftly or eventually come.  This book is inspiring and challenging and tender and gentle.  It's short - I read it over a couple of evenings.  And at least in the copy I have, there is an eight week study that digs deeply into Job and traverses the Bible on the subject of suffering and grief.  I would love to put some time into this at some stage.  And this book is an excellent companion to Nancy Guthrie's anthologies on suffering and death. 

Reading this book will be time well spent.  Reading it and then sharing a copy with someone else will be a gift.



Jerry Bridges

God in His love always wills what is best for us.

In His wisdom He always knows what is best,

and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about.

 

(A unsourced quote in chapter one of Trusting God by Jerry Bridges.)

 

I have just spent the last month immersed in these three books by Jerry Bridges. 

 

The titles point clearly to the content (as all good titles should.)

Respectable Sins - about the sins that we may not even be aware of, because they blend in with what is well tolerated in society...pride, discontentment, grumbling, selfishness (it's all about me) and anxiety to name a few. 

The Pursuit of Holiness - one of those books often to be found on many Christian bucket lists of must read books, and rightly so.  A great companion to Respectable Sins as it maps a pathway for pursuing holiness and godliness, that veers away from sins both gross and respectable.

Trusting God - how to maintain that holiness, godliness and belief that God is sovereign and that Christ's death on the cross is enough when things are not going smoothly. 

 

Jerry Bridges writes clearly and pastorally.  In reading them I felt nurtured and challenged, taught and counselled, affirmed and encouraged.  Encouraged in the best sense of the word.  Jerry Bridges is a humble man and in all three books he genuinely and sincerely gives God all glory and honour.  If you want to see humility in action through one who holds wholly to the view that God is completely sovereign (that is, in control of all things), loving and wise, pick one of these books and delight in his gentle but strong words.  He's not afraid to say the hard things.  But he is by no means harsh.   

 

Good reading. 

 

I'd like to read some more of his books, including The Joy of Fearing God and The Discipline of Grace, but three is enough for now.  I'll save the others for another time.

Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges

There is a lot to love about this book.

Firstly, the chapters are very short.  I love books with short chapters.  When I check to see how many pages there are until the end of a chapter and find there are still fifty to go I get overwhelmed.  Short chapters are excellent.  (Maybe that is why I like the Bible so much.)

Secondly, Bridges outlines a whole host of sins that we may not even recognise in ourselves.  Am I tempted to think that I have given every part of my life over to God?  Needing to think again.  Here is the list of the sins Bridges covers - ungodliness, anxiety and frustration, discontentment, unthankfulness, pride, selfishness, self-control (lack there of), impatience and irritability, anger, judgmentalism, envy, jealousy, sins of speech and worldliness.  Thinking I don't have a problem with any/some/most of these?  Bridges drills down below the surface and turns up all sorts of every day examples that I hadn't even thought of...and that is why they are "respectable sins" - the sins we tolerate to the point that we cease to recognise them as sinful.

Sounding like a fun book?  Keep reading.

Thirdly, Jerry Bridges has a very strong grasp of God's sovereignty.  A loving sovereign God.   This book provides sound and solid teaching on God's sovereignty alongside the teaching on sin.  Worth reading to be moved once again by God's sovereignty.

Which leads to the fourth - this book is pastoral.  Ligon Duncan, in his commendation for Respectable Sins said, "Jerry Bridges has blessed us with this timely book designed to help us grow in grace and glorify and enjoy God as we ought.  I can't think of any partner with whose help I'd rather tackle my own heart sins than Jerry." And he is right.  I felt like someone was holding my hand and leading me ever so gently through the pages of this book.  I couldn't put it down.  I couldn't wait to read the next chapter.  I felt sad when it came to an end.  A book that was exposing sin after sin.  That is gifted writing.  And that is the wonder of being one of God's children.  Sinful but saved.

I felt encouraged (in the best sense of the word) to take a long, hard look at myself, and confident to do so because the God I long to love and serve with all my heart, soul, mind and strength has loving sovereignty over my life.  He has numbered my days and even the hairs on my head.  He loves me so much that He sent His only Son to die for me to take the punishment for all that sin.  Why wouldn't I want to tackle this sinfulness given the hope found in the cross of Jesus, given to us by a sovereign and loving God.

Loved this book.

Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner

When I read the last words of Crossing to Safety my second reaction was to think, "Thank goodness that's over!"  That came after my first response which was to allow a few little tears to trickle down my cheek.  (That moment was interrupted by finding a seven year old's face about 10 centimetres from my face requesting crackers for afternoon tea.)  Why the second response, when I was moved to tears in the first instance?  Relief that after four (albeit glorious) days I could get myself to bed before midnight and the family stood a chance of a) getting some eye contact from me after four fairly remote days and b) something better than crackers for afternoon tea.

Crossing to Safety was written in 1987 by American author Wallace Stegner.  It is the story of the lives of two couples - Sid and Charity Lang and Larry and Sally Morgan - who met for the first time during the Depression.  Sid and Larry both have their first jobs in the English Department of the University of Wisconsin.  Their wives are both pregnant.  A lifelong friendship is born.  The book, told from the point of view of an aging Larry Morgan, charts the progress of friendship, life, love and loyalty. 

Written about a different era, and yet it was very evocative of Gilead by Marilynne Robinson.  Of Gilead I said,

"And it is a wonderfully written novel. It moved along so slowly, and yet it was a page turner. It was oh so gentle, but not light weight by any stretch of the imagination. Full of peace, compassion, deep love, honour, loyalty and lived out, deeply understood theology.  Beautiful holiday reading!"

Apart from the "lived out, deeply understood theology" bit, that description fits this book perfectly.  Crossing to Safety is not written from a Christian world view so when it takes in the subject of dying I found it achingly sad to read very good writing about dying and death, but death without hope.  So there is that to it.  But as far as great reads go, this is a wonderful, wonderful book and if you are a Gilead fan, then I feel fairly sure you will love this too for its pace, poise and richness.

Thank you so very much to Karen whose review first introduced me to this book.  Unlike Karen, who seems to have excellent self-control and makes very good use of her local library, I actually bought this one and put it away for Boxing Day.  It was all I could do to not take a sneak peak during December.  (I did end up reading the introduction and the first chapter before Christmas...)  And in the spirit of lack of self-control, I was going to a summer reading round up at the end of the holidays, but I couldn't wait until then with this book.  If you are in need of a good summer read (or a good winter read for that matter) then this might be one for you.  As for me, my summer reading plan has just changed directions.  I am off to find Gilead for a re-read now.  (I bought that one too!)  But I might fix afternoon tea first.